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Ted Cruz Spanks James Comey for Letting Huma Abedin Slide...

Courtney Kirchoff
May 04, 2017

Opponents still try to outsmart Cruz, despite Ted Cruz crushing people's dreams like a transwoman hulk smashing his female competition. The latest was FBI's own James Comey, who essentially said Huma Abedin wasn't prosecuted for breaking the law because "She, like, totes didn't know she was committing a boo-boo when she sent the double secret classified emails to people over a, like, not secure computer and stuff." Cruz wasn't having it.

When a sitting senator schools you in first-year law school, then asks what would happen to an FBI agent who did the same, it's time to deploy your spare pantaloons. But there's a more obvious answer as to why Huma was given a get out of jail free card:

Here's another question to ask yourself as you nom your morning breakfast. What do you think would happen to YOU if you knowingly forwarded classified email? You'd have to start seriously considering the merits of a prison tattoo. Then consider your willingness to go a little bit gay to fit in with the orange-jumpsuited miscreants who've blown kisses your way. Is that a shank, or are you really hoping to rape me?

But the wife of the nation's proudest pervert, and trusted aid to the illustrious Madame Cankles of the Pleated Pantsuit? Nah, she didn't MEAN TO BREAK THE LAW!

My nightmares...

Huma and Hillary were operating pretty high up on the government totem pole, and both get a pass for using the law with all the casualness of single ply toilet paper in a public restroom. Used, abused, and given an E-ticket ride down the swirling porcelain throne.

When some people are prosecuted for breaking the law, and others are not prosecuted for breaking the law, we have ourselves a teensy problem, better known as "Tyranny." See also "Corruption" and "Exactly what the Founding Fathers hoped would never happen, since they high-tailed it out of countries which practiced such judicious evil."

Ahem. Now watch Ted Cruz again. You know you want to.

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