Slate is a garbage website where garbage people have garbage opinions (see SLATE: Nikki Haley’s Instagram is Too Normal and We Hate Her and Liberal Slate Says “Homophobic” Grandmothers Should Die…). But this is the worst case of the Soy Theorem -- the theory that if there's something Americans enjoy, somewhere a leftist douche tries to ruin it -- that I've ever seen. Slate attacked Sully. George H.W. Bush's service dog.

Perhaps you've seen the emotional photo of Sully completing his mission by standing watch at the former president's casket.

Damn dust all up in here.

Here's Slate  s***ing all over it.

There’s even some preliminary evidence from the small field of “comparative thanatology” that animals notice death, and that some may even experience an emotion we might compare to grief. But Sully is not a longtime Bush family pet, letting go of the only master he has known. He is an employee who served for less than six months.

We're talking about a dog who loved. Because dogs love. Which is the exact opposite of what Slate puts in its morning coffee which, by the looks of it, isn't coffee so much as it's ground dung from Satan's most noble demons.

Here's Twitter s***ing all over Slate.

Yeah, have to agree. Downplaying and/or excusing the loyalty of a dog is like insulting sugar on Halloween. What the actual hell.

Dogs love instantly. They don't need years to accomplish it. Six months, seven years, whatever, dogs are just amazing and Slate can go snack on cat litter-crusted poo.

So Slate, here's to you.

It's a dog. I know it's a Republican dog. Or, a dog for a Republican. But...IT'S. A. DOG! Did Slate not know the only redeemable quality about the internet is the plethora of dog gifs, dog photos, dog rating, dogs just being dogs?

PEOPLE LOVE DOGS, SLATE. They give us so much joy and unconditional love. Dogs are the great unifier. Liberal or conservative, Americans love their dogs. Even if the dog belonged to someone Slate didn't like.

I had to.

Bad Slate! Bad! Whoever let that post go out needs to be beaten with a rolled up newspaper. Then their nose needs to be shoved somewhere unmentionable.

NOT SUBSCRIBED TO THE PODCAST? FIX THAT! IT’S COMPLETELY FREE ON BOTH ITUNES HERE AND SOUNDCLOUD HERE.