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June 02, 2023
Woke pastor begs for penance over the way a cartoon white girl was positioned on a calendar
John C. Dorhauer is the pastor of the United Church of Christ in Ohio and has sinned. He has sinned against anti-racism with the release of a church calendar that didn't reach the commitment to anti-racism he and his church strives for. Dorhauer issued a sniveling apology on the church's website over the cover.
It has been brought to my attention that a slight rotation of the cover image in either direction would more accurately reflect the racial equity we seek. I am grateful for such attention to the subtleties of racism and agree.
Now, I'm sure I have you wondering, what could have possibly caused such an apology. The headline gives you a breadcrumb: it involves a white girl. Was the white girl calling the cops on two black kids playing basketball? Was she selling white girl tears? Was she culturally appropriating with braids in her hair while she did the Dougie?
Because in a cartoon description of a multi-cultural group of children equally spaced, laughing, and holding hands with each other, the little CARTOON white girl was on top. For this, he has sinned against the lord. The lord of Wokeness. He needs to say ten Ibram X. Kendis and do five Robin DiAngelos.
Due to a cartoon of happy children on a calendar, Dorhauer was reminded "of the kind of diligence required to fully overcome the ravages of white privilege still embedded in our system, our psyche and our culture." He promises a new process to approve graphics will be put in place that aligns with the church's vision of "antiracism."
While many in the woke cult are new to the game, credit Rev. Dorhauer for being true to the game. He goes back to a 2015 Huffington Post blog post lecturing white men over all their whiteness. That's a full five years before it became a plank in the Democrat Party's platform.
More recently, he attacked Florida Governor Ron DeSantis over allowing opposing viewpoints on a single college campus in Florida. "I want to express my moral outrage at Gov. DeSantis willing to compromise and sacrifice the future, the vision, the hopes, the dreams and the safety of the students on this campus for his aspirations to serve as president."
Dorhauer called for a prayer to God until "justice prevails and the evil of racism ends." The racism of a cartoon depiction of eight children living together in harmony. That goes against all "anti"racist teachings.
Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.
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