The solution to all gun-related crimes, according to people whose preferred gender pronoun is stupid dumbass, is "MOAR GUN CONTROL." The idea being "if we stop people from getting guns, we stop people from committing crimes with guns." So simple, even a gender studies major understands it. After all, it's "common sense." Taking up the ban on arms, Maryland has some of the strictest gun control measures in this land. Yet somehow an 18-year-old student got his hands on a gun, grenades, and the basic ingredients for a bomb.

A high school student who allegedly took a loaded gun to his Montgomery County, Md., school last week reportedly had a list of grievances against other students and multiple weapons at home.

Eighteen-year-old Alwin Chen was arrested last Thursday after bringing a loaded handgun and a knife to Clarksburg High School.

Kids these days. Remember when you brought your letterman jacket to school, but opted to leave your Panzer at home? Aw. Memories.

According to multiple news reports Tuesday, he also had an AR-15-style rifle, grenades, landmines, a tactical vest and a list of grievances at home, along with other weapons.

Not sure what "AR-15-style rifle" means, but I suspect that's leftist media speak for "it looked really mean, you guys." Let's move past that. Chen had grenades. Landmines. "Other weapons." Did I miss the "Other Weapons" aisle at Costco? Because I've never had the opportunity to add landmines to my cart. Just think how much easier it would be to keep the neighbor kids off my lawn if I could put up "Beware, landmines" in front of my house. Maybe there's an unknown feature to unlock on Amazon Prime. Someone tweet me.

Look it, Maryland takes its gun control very seriously, including a ban on "assault" weapons. Not only did sweet little Chen here get guns, he scored grenades. He didn't want to shoot up a school as much as occupy the district. Instituting Pokemon Go! as the religion. No, I didn't hack into Maryland's crime mainframe. That's just me spitballing motive.

Maybe Maryland should write some laws to ban grenades. Landmines. You know. To keep weapons out of criminals' hands. It's working so well with guns. Did I mention they have an assault weapon's ban? Uh huh.

Serious moment time: making something illegal doesn't stop criminals from doing it. That's why we call them criminals. They break laws. By definition. It's getting annoying to keep repeating such a basic point. Wouldn't it be nice if people just got a clue? I won't hold my breath. In the meantime, I'm keeping all my legal guns. Just in case some criminal tries to detonate my driveway with illegally acquired incendiary devices.

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