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Man Kills Spider with Blowtorch. Burns House Down.
The itzy, bitzy spider went up the water spout,
Down came the flames to burn the spider out,
Up went the house ingulfed in all the flames,
And the moron with the blow torch had to move again...
I mean, seriously, who does this?
A man who only wanted to get rid of unwanted pests has managed to burn down his home with a blowtorch.
Officials in Tucson, Arizona, say that they responded to reports of smoke and flames coming from a mobile home in the Arizona city where a man had been using a blowtorch to remove spiderwebs from underneath his mobile home.
Ah. His mobile home. Commencing stereotypical jokes about a certain segment of the population in 3, 2, 1...
The fire department said that they had arrived to discover that an elderly woman had been removed from the blaze by her son and some neighbours. She had sustained minor injuries while being carried out, but she was not reportedly injured severely by the fires.
Important question: are all the spiders dead? Because those MoFos deserve to die.
And obviously this guy still lives with his mother. Who had to be rescued by people who are not her son. Who wants to bet our little Spider Incinerator is getting all the ladies on OkCupid.com? Farewell and adieu you fair Spanish ladies (name that movie).
We've written about some dumb people in our day (see Animal Rights Morons Stage Bloody Slaughter at Chick-Fil-A and Offended Moron Smashes All Ten Commandments With His Car). But congratulations Blowtorch Bubba! You've just entered the hall of fame. Or maybe that's flame.
I'll let myself out.