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Halloween is a fun time for all ages. Kids get an obscene amount of candy. Men will find the most offensive text from the group chat and turn it into a costume. Ladies, whatever costume they choose, make sure it's the sluttiest version of it. It's one of the few shared experiences that We the People of the United States of the Americas have left. Kid Rock, straight out of the cornfields of Romeo, Michigan, and someone you'd assume would be more flamboyant, is staying low-key this year as he played "guess my costume" and put a mask COVID mask on.

KID ROCK: Guess what I'm dressing up as?

JESSE WATTERS: ...Fauci?

KID ROCK: A retard.

Get it? Because people who still wear masks in 2025 are retarded!

Is it childish? Yes.

Immature? You betcha.

Mean? Sure...maybe. But I laughed, you laughed, and Jesse Waters laughed. It is what it is.

I do feel bad that there are still people in the two-thousandth and twenty-fifth year of our Lord and Savior Donald Trump who are still wearing masks when they leave their house. Much like during the pandemic, as long as you don't get in my face about not wearing one, I'm not going to say anything to you for making a different decision than me. But I am still going to judge you silently. Harshly.

I've also got ten bucks that says you leave CNN on when you leave the house so your cats don't feel lonely.

But the best part of this video? Jesse Watters admits he is bringing a flask with him. Real ones know that's the best part of taking the kids trick-or-treating.

I'll never forget the day my brother-in-law and I saw my neighbors loading up a red wagon with Miller Lites and prosecco, and thinking it was the greatest idea we've ever seen. The following year, Halloween was on a Saturday, and it turned out that every other adult in the neighborhood had the same idea. There was one point when the kids were running feral on people's lawns while 60 adults tried to take a group photo in the middle of the street. It was madness. Brilliant, glorious madness.

The kids have their candy sacks. The grown-ups have our tumblers and red Solo cups. America is made great again.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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