Justine Bateman played Mallory on the 80s hit Family Ties, which was a cornerstone of the last Republican renaissance during the Reagan years (her brother Alex P. Keaton -- played by Michael J. Fox -- was America's favorite young Republican). The actress and producer has been drawing on her over 40 years of filmmaking expertise this week to help (and mock) people with their anti-Sydney Sweeney social media meltdowns videos.

Yes, people are still melting down because too many of the "wrong people" like Sydney Sweeney and think she fills out a pair of jeans nicely. Though, probably more importantly, fills out whatever top she is wearing nicely. As reported by The Atlantic, it is a conservative first principle that it is okay to like boobs in America.

Bateman is here to offer constructive criticism. The most common one is when these AWFL TikTokers do a split screen with Sweeney while they look like... well, how they usually look like. "Ms. Sweeney’s facial expression is one of satisfaction and pleasure. This gives a continuous impression that neither the actress, nor the points she’s making in the dialogue, are not being taken seriously by Ms. Sweeney, nor by the audience."

Pro-tip from Bateman: If you are going to make a "hostage video," you have to make the threat easy for people to understand. This content creator, claiming to be a pilates instructor, drops pilates terms as if they are universally understood to the point someone would understand how tortured they would be if they like Sydney Sweeney and take this specimen's pilates class. Also, and this part is key... we're to believe this person teaches pilates?

This one is just... wow.

The main thing that appears to get in Bateman's craw is that, if you are going to do an on-location shoot to have a social media meltdown video, you have to put in the slightest bit of prep work. Like, blocking your scenes, remembering your lines, and knowing the name of the actress you are supposedly outraged over.

While Alyssa Milano has broken many GenX hearts with the way she has gone batsh*t crazy, it is nice to know not all of our 80s crushes have lost their marbles. I'd look up to see which way Soleil Moon Frye swings to split the difference, but I don't have the strength.

Let's hope future AWFL content creators take Justine Bateman's advice to heart. We deserve a better internet.

Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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