Remember, it was supposed to be 15 Days to Slow The Spread or Flatten the Curve or some other lukewarm bull caca in which to toss the frog. My guess is, had the "experts" said 4 months ago you wouldn't be able to attend sporting events (schools, businesses, or even restaurants unless you wear a face diaper until you're seated) most Americans would've maybe raised a few more caution flags rather than dutifully going along with the edicts from On High. But I digress. Since sports teams need to make money, they need to play. But not with you in the stands. To make the empty stadiums seem less empty, Fox Sports has Evel Knievel'd across the uncanny valley and given the world digital fans. Go put some lotion on its skin and prepare to be creeped the hell out.

Someone thought this was a great idea. Actually, scratch that. I've been working in the private sector for 15 years. A legion of people thought this was a good idea. The person who had the idea pitched it to someone else, who said "let's do it!" Then there was a meeting, a Powerpoint deck, another meeting, several reply-all emails, Slack messages filled with animated gifs, seven sessions of neck-straining reach-arounds, another "all hands on deck" meeting, maybe a thousand text messages, and then a final execution meeting where words like "optimize" and "syngergize" were waved around like foam fingers.

The above creep fest is the result.

Let's also note the fans Fox has created are all idealized versions of human beings. No people of stature to be seen. That'll be a problem for sure.

I referenced the "uncanny valley" above. It's a theory which explains there is a point where the closer a robot (or in this case, a digitization) gets to resembling a human, the more creeped out we become. That's in large part due to these things looking like animated corpses. It's one reason Pixar continues to over exaggerate their human characters and why digital movies like Polar Express were uncomfortable to watch.

It would appear Fox Sports is unfamiliar with the theory, or thought they didn't slide down the valley like it was greased with Kerrygold butter.

I have a better idea for Fox: maybe start suing some state governments over the stupid 'rona bullshit and get actual fans in the stadium.

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