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April 02, 2023
British Farmers Will Soon Be Forced To Feed Cows Anti-Fart Feed For The Planet
The war on cow excrements continues. British farmers will soon be ordered to feed their cows "methane suppressants" to prevent their stinky burps and farts from polluting the environment. Priorities, people.
\u201cFarmers will be ordered to feed cows 'methane suppressants' under net zero plans \n https://t.co/trNlq9UOj9\u201d— Daily Mail Online (@Daily Mail Online) 1680429394
The suppressants are apparently "compound feeds" that contain seaweed, essential oils, organic acids, probiotics, and antimicrobials that apparently reduce the amount of methane produced during a cow’s digestion. These suppressants could be introduced in 2025 "at pace," or as "soon as practically possible."
This is all part of the effort to reduce emissions by 20% by 2030, as required by Britain's commitment to the Global Methane Pledge. The methane suppressant addition came after concerns that the governments existing plans to reach "net-zero carbon" by 2050 were not detailed enough.
Oh, and of course this will increase the cost of milk. But who cares about money, right? We've got a planet to save. From cow farts. And good news -former government advisor on food strategy Dustin Benton told The Telegraph that the feed could soon be given to sheep, too! Yaay!
He also said this is just the start and that more must be done to prevent the dastardly emissions that come from livestock.
Let's hope our beloved AOC doesn't get wind of this. Cow farts have been her nemesis for years now, challenged perhaps only by the lovely lady behind Libs of TikTok. Recall in 2019 she literally tried to ban cow farts in her Green New Deal:
"We set a goal to get to net-zero, rather than zero emissions, in 10 years because we aren’t sure that we’ll be able to fully get rid of farting cows and airplanes that fast, but we think we can ramp up renewable manufacturing and power production, retrofit every building in America, build the smart grid, overhaul transportation and agriculture, plant lots of trees and restore our ecosystem to get to net-zero."
So, yeah. Something tells me she'd be completely on board with this agenda.
Lily is a Zoomer college dropout who somehow landed a writing gig here at LwC.com. In her spare time, she enjoys going for runs, touching grass, and occasionally tweeting tweets for fellow tweeters.
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