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Elizabeth Warren Releases Her DNA Report. It's So Embarrassing She Should Hide Under a Rock.

Courtney Kirchoff
October 15, 2018

Chiefess Elizabeth "How" Warren released her DNA report showcasing her rich cultural heritage. Which, as it turns out, is whiter than the text field into which I'm pecking letters. Warren's DNA is whiter than the soft ply Charmain she uses to wipe her blindingly white tochus. In fact, the only tipi in Warren's life is the brand of TP she chooses at Whole Foods. Nevertheless, she persisted... in pushing her native heritage.

He concluded that “the vast majority” of Warren’s ancestry is European, but he added that “the results strongly support the existence of an unadmixed Native American ancestor.”

"An." Singular. I'm embarrassed for her.

Bustamante calculated that Warren’s pure Native American ancestor appears in her family tree “in the range of 6-10 generations ago.” That timing fits Warren’s family lore, passed down during her Oklahoma upbringing, that her great-great-great-grandmother, O.C. Sarah Smith, was at least partially Native American.

In the range of 6-10 generations, ago is probably something Harvard would've liked to know when Warren used the 6-10 generation ago heritage as a reason to check the Native American box.

The inherent imprecision of the six-page DNA analysis could provide fodder for Warren’s critics. If her great-great-great-grandmother was Native American, that puts her at 1/32nd American Indian. But the report includes the possibility that she’s just 1/1024th Native American if the ancestor is 10 generations back.

According to Twitter:

Sen. Warren might be 0.09% Native American. The average European-American is estimated to be 0.18% Native American… https://t.co/jqzfUjBkdr
— Washington Examiner (@Washington Examiner)1539625685.0

So you, the person reading this, are likely more Native American than Elizabeth Warren. Yet Warren is out beating her war drum of victory.

I took this test and released the results for anyone who cares to see because I’ve got nothing to hide. What are YO… https://t.co/Os3PGyvmtV
— Elizabeth Warren (@Elizabeth Warren)1539608739.0

Methinks Warren is betting on Boston Globe who don't get into the details of the report until mid to later in the article. Methinks she's hoping people will read headlines "Warren has Native American Ancestry!" and will leave it at that. Tough break, princess.

Instead of beating the drum, Warren should be hanging her feathered head in shame. She exploited a teeny, tiny fraction of a heritage on during her college career:

“At some point after I was hired by them, I . . . provided that information to the University of Pennsylvania and Harvard,’’ she said in a statement issued by her campaign. “My Native American heritage is part of who I am, I’m proud of it and I have been open about it.’’ Warren’s statement is her first acknowledgment that she identified herself as Native American to the Ivy League schools. While she has said she identified herself as a minority in a legal directory, she has carefully avoided any suggestion during the last month that she took further actions to promote her purported heritage.

So for it to come out Warren may have a tiny fraction, even smaller than normal people, but played up this heritage is the definition of cultural appropriation. If the left cherishes cultural rules, then Warren should be ostracized and shamed for using "Native American heritage" to get ahead. Especially when it's so low, Boston Globe had to print this glorious correction:

Go hide under in a wigwam, Warren.

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