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February 21, 2023
Don Lemon Will Return to CNN, But Only After 'Formal Training' On How Not to Offend Women
I know you'll all be shocked to hear that Don Lemon hasn't been on the air since Thursday. All you devoted CNN watchers out there must be devastated. All six of you.
Lemon is slated to return tomorrow, after receiving "formal training" for his comments about Nikki Haley. In case you missed it, Lemon took a conveniently-timed vacation after the aforementioned comments about Haley, when he claimed that the 51-year-old politician is not "in her prime." He explained that women are considered to be in their prime in their 20s, 30s, and maybe 40s. Which, if by "prime" he meant childbearing age, is scientifically true. But Poppy Harlow and Kaitlan Collins were not enthused.
\u201cDon Lemon will return to his CNN morning-show role on Wednesday, the network announced, after an uproar over comments he made on-air last week that were widely regarded as sexist. He \u201chas agreed to participate in formal training,\u201d CNN's chairman said. https://t.co/0lLFjVMHYC\u201d— The New York Times (@The New York Times) 1676959211
\u201cDon Lemon says Nikki Haley isn\u2019t in her prime as a politician because she\u2019s not in her 20\u2019s, 30\u2019s or 40\u2019s. Holy shit. She\u2019s only 51! Biden\u2019s 80! This may be the dumbest thing ever said on CNN. And I love that he cited Google as his source:\u201d— Clay Travis (@Clay Travis) 1676563042
CNN boss Chris Licht sent a memo out to staff last night that said, "To my CNN Colleagues, I sat down with Don and had a frank and meaningful conversation. He has agreed to participate in formal training, as well as continuing to listen and learn. We take this situation very seriously.”
It's unclear what this "formal training" consisted of. I'm imagining Lemon strapped into a chair while Chris Licht dangles a light in front of his eyes, repeating, "women do not have cooties" over and over again. That should do it.
But some CNN staffers are reportedly still not pleased with the company's reaction. An anonymous source told The Daily Beast, "CNN should’ve been focusing on Kaitlan and Poppy instead of Don." Another complained that Don keeps "embarrassing the network." I don't think CNN needs Don Lemon to embarrass themselves, but ok.
A third insider claimed Lemon's comment on Nikki Haley is part of a "pattern" of Lemon's attitude towards women in general. They may be referring to when Lemon took some heat last year for saying the men's soccer team should be paid more than the women's because "people are more interested in it."
\u201cWATCH: Don Lemon actually drops a truth bomb about why the U.S. men's soccer team is better paid\n\n"The men\u2019s team makes more money because, you know what, people are more interested in it."\n\nhttps://t.co/V5g4p1hd5F\u201d— Ben Kew \ud83d\udc36 (@Ben Kew \ud83d\udc36) 1669952287
Who would have thought Don Lemon could say things that are objectively true? I honestly thought he was physically incapable. It turns out, he just has to offend women while he does it. A strange tick, but entertaining nonetheless.