North Carolina Boy Fights off Home Invaders with a Machete
Everybody loves a story with a happy ending. Which is the case with this tale from the great state of North Carolina. Some home-invading butt dumplings busted into a machete-wielding kid's house.
An 11-year-old North Carolina boy defended his home from intruders Friday when he struck one with a machete.
After burglars broke into his Mebane, NC, home and forced him into the closet using a pellet gun, the young boy escaped, grabbed a machete and plunged it into his captor’s head, CNN reports.
Deputies called the boy a “star baseball player.”
I wish I could see what this kid was thinking as everything played out. I bet it would be hilarious. "Gotta get out of this closet and get my blade. I'm gonna carve this douchenugget up like I'm Jason Voorhees. Here he is. Moment of truth. 'KI-KI-KI MA-MA-MA, MOTHERF***ER!!!' Dad owes me an apology for telling me that Friday the 13th marathon was a waste of time.
If it weren't for the kiddo's machete, these criminalizing dickweeds would have been free to do as they please at his residence. Instead, the trespassing doucheinator got a taste of the boy's blade. Sweet, sweet karma. O, how I love thee. Hopefully the home invader will learn his lesson from this. Refraining from further instances which might result in having a machete buried in his head.
This goes to show weaponry is important. A weapon gives power to the powerless. God only knows what might have befell the youngster if his handy blade wasn't nearby. To this brave young man who refuses to stand by idly while staring evil in the face, we salute you.
God help us if the U-S-of-A copies the UK: