This is easily one of the most emotional posts you’re going to read in the wake of the Dallas Shootings. A police officer’s wife has an apology to the protesters. But of course it’s not what you think…
She apologizes for not being able to see past their hatred like her husband does. Then she lets the reader have it.
He’s better than me because he’s never cared if you see him for his worth or not. He doesn’t care if you have any respect for him or if you loathe him. He will still be there for you. He will help you. He will save you. He will stand in front of your bullet to save an innocent behind him. I don’t think you’re worth it, and I apologize for not being as good of a person to you as he is.
I’m sorry for not being the person I used to be, but you have made it hard to keep caring about you more than the father of my children, my best friend, my partner in this life.
I’m sorry for allowing you to make me fearful and angry and resentful when I’ve never even met you. I’m sorry for seeing bricks and rocks and trashcans ablaze being hurled at officers on live television and wishing you ill will. I’m sorry for seeing credible threats of violence aimed at officers across this country and, in turn, feeling hatred towards you when I’ve never met you.
I’m sorry for wondering if you would spare my husband for wearing a badge because his skin is black, or if you would target him more because he’s a traitor in your eyes. I’m sorry for allowing myself to be reduced to a person who wonders if race could help keep him alive. I’m sorry to all the other police wives for wondering if that gives him an advantage. I’m weak lately, and I’m sorry for blaming you when it is I who has allowed your hate and your violence and your judgment of my husband to affect me negatively.
I’m sorry that I care more about my husband making it home alive than I care about him dying for you. It didn’t used to be that way. Luckily for you, there are hundreds of thousands of officers who still remember the oath they took. They will not allow other corrupt officers to change who they are nor will they allow a public that increasingly hates them to change how they protect and serve.
We’re living in a time where emotions are running high. We’re living in a time where being pro-violence, so long as the media has given you a pass for your grievance, is fully justified, even by leaders at the highest levels. We’re living in a time where the brave men and women who want to protect and serve people are being targeted because of actions of a few of their fellow officers (who may or may not have been justified in said actions, no one ever waits for the facts anymore).
We’re living in a time where this open letter needed to be written, even though if you read it, it’s pure truth coming from the wife of a police officer. Any person who knows a police officer, who is close to that person in any capacity, be it an acquaintance, friend, or family member, can relate to every single word this woman penned.
And yet this letter needed to be written. Such is the state of our time. Life is completely upside down (read Progress? Transexual Now Breaking Girl’s HS Track Records). The brigands who beat down doors are given hero status, while the protectors of our civil society are demonized. Until, of course, it’s the common American citizens who are demonized, then those protectors are held aloft again. Sanity is in full reverse.
It’s 2016 and the world has gone mad. But those of us who err on the side of sane, who value men and women who want to protect and serve, we’re banding together. We’re pushing back. We’re resisting. Sometimes that resistance takes the simple form of an open letter from a wife who loves and worries about her husband, who happens to be a police officer.
It will not be a blow to the opposition, but a rallying cry.
Also, waiting for facts isn’t racist. Stop saying it is.