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ArticlesApril 02, 2020
Irony Overload: OJ Simpson Thinks 'Tiger King's' Carole Baskin Killed Her Husband
There's a rumor going around that the producers of Netflix's "Tiger King" are actually the ones who launched the coronavirus on us. Granted, this is a rumor that I just started. But think about it: Would you be watching this show if you weren't stuck at home because it's all pandemic up in this mutha (Donald Trump SHUTS DOWN CNN's Acosta Questioning Whether He Gives 'False Hope' [VIDEO] and James O'Keefe Visits COVID-19 Testing Center, Talks to People on Frontlines)? OK, probably. The timing is questionable. Regardless, America is all stuck at home sitting on their thrones of hoarded toilet paper wondering if Carole Baskin did in fact kill her first husband by feeding him to the big cats.
Louder with Crowder Senior Killing Your Spouse Correspondent OJ Simpson is here with a report. Juice, are you there?
"There's not a shred of doubt in my mind that that lady's husband is tiger sashimi right now."
He also said, "White people!! What's with you and wild animals?! Leave them animals alone!" Which, I admit, I LOLed at. You got me there, Juice.
At this point, I'm fairly certain OJ is just trolling us. He knows he got away with killing his wife (if that's too much of a GenX reference for some of you Zoomers, Google it). We know he got away with killing his wife. He knows that we know he got away with killing his wife. So, he knows he'll trend if he accuses someone else of killing their spouse.
Which, make no mistake about it, Carole Baskin most definitely killed her husband and fed him to the tigers. In my opinion. She is the OJ Simpson of this generation. The two should go golfing together.
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