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WIN: Iowa Lawmaker Introduces 'Suck it Up, Buttercup' Bill for College Crybabies

Team Crowder
November 16, 2016

Have you been watching the coddling and whiny SJW jive on college campuses and saying to yourself, "Suck it up, Buttercups?" It's been worse after Donald Trump's election (see LOL: Students Offended By Thomas Jefferson Quotes… At Jefferson’s Own University! and UofM Comforts 'Traumatized' Pro-Hillary Students...With Legos And Play-Doh?!). Well, an Iowa lawmaker agrees with you, and has legislation to push back. So before you poke him with your safety pin, read...

“I’ve seen four or five schools in other states that are establishing ‘cry zones.’ Where they’re staffed by state grief counselors and kids can come cry out their sensitivity to the election results,” said Rep. Bobby Kaufmann, R-Wilton. “I find this whole hysteria to be incredibly annoying. People have the right to be hysterical … on their own time.”

Kaufmann plans to introduce a piece of legislation he’s calling the “suck it up, buttercup bill” when the Legislature resumes in January.

It would target state universities that use taxpayer dollars to fund election-related sit-ins and grief counseling above and beyond what is normally available to students. Those that do would be subject to a budget cut for double the amount they spend on such activities, Kaufmann said. It also would establish new criminal penalties for protesters who shut down highways. Example, those who briefly closed Interstate Highway 80 in Iowa City during a protest against President-elect Donald Trump last week.

Show of up-twinkles: who could get behind a National bill? Personally, I'd sign a bill that says if protesters are blocking traffic you can run them over with your car, but that's just me. I'm also content to just let them protest. All they're doing so far, as we've been saying, is help launch Trump 2020. After supporting all the Republicans for 2018. Keep the tears coming, you nitwits.

But there comes a limit to how much taxpayers should fund the "cry zones." Hint: not at all. Your tears, your choice, your dollar. Also, reminder: college students are 18 and over. As in some of these students buying Kleenex in bulk? They're drinking, driving, voting adults. Gawd. Y'all need to grow up, stat.

Look, if you want to get all weepy over a fair election, fine. I can't say I don't blame you for being upset over an election result, having been there multiple times. Let's remember, though, it has been a whole week since Madam Cankles was de-broomed. Maybe it's time you make yourself useful for a change. Pick up the unused broom and sweep away your crap-infested dorms. Use the handle to smack yourself. Ideas. Just ideas.

Plus let's be honest. Whiny college students are best for business...

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