Dear spoiled, screaming toddlers who would be better served modeling diapers for Depends (if you had a smidgen of work ethic):
Your sniveling cries of despondency is why Donald Trump is president-elect. That’s right, you entitled little bitch-babies: you’re the reason a reality TV star is to be the Commander in Chief. So trot your flabby fat butts into the bathroom, look in the mirror, and scream at yourself. If you feel the need to more appropriately channel violence away from people who had zero to do with Trump’s election, and instead channel it toward those responsible? Raise your right hand. Make a fist. Punch yourself in the face. Repeat.
If at any time you find this letter too “triggering” or sophomoric, I invite you to retreat back to the safe space from which you oozed. Because based on your pissy attitudes of days past, your safe space is where you’ve been holed up for the past two or more years. Rocking back and forth while drooling. So please, skulk back to your dark hole you call home, light up a doobie (or whatever slang term you’re using to describe pot), and stop destroying the property of your fellow Americans. Got it?
We had an election. Your pantsuited queen was defeated by an orange-haired television star who, eleven years ago, was caught on camera saying “p*ssy.” It stings. I get it. I saw a war veteran and a governor defeated by a once junior senator from Illinois, who uttered empty promises read off a TelePrompter better than your mom wipes grease from your pimply face, using nothing but her spittle.
And I understand the moping. I get the anger. I feel for you when you think your candidate is going to win, only to watch the state by state results come in, breaking your once hopeful heart. Okay? Okay.
Moping, disappointment and anger? All reasonable emotions to experience. It’s how I felt after ObamaCare was shoved down America’s throat without a single American vote cast for it. It’s how I feel every time a bakery is sued for its refusal to decorate a gay wedding cake. Anger is what I feel whenever I see a dismembered body of an unborn baby which was torn from its mother’s womb. But channeling anger into the destruction of property, into the assault of those who supported an election’s winner? That I have to explain its wrongness is why I believe you’re better off being strapped into high chairs and fed with rubber-fitted spoons.
Repeat after me, you puerile twits: Losing an election doesn’t mean I get to hurt people. Losing an election doesn’t mean I get to burn crap down. Losing an election doesn’t mean I get to act like a cartoon Tasmanian devil, just lacking the popularity.
Also, point of contention with you mentally challenged nimrods: peacefully protesting a president’s policies, isn’t the same as rioting over an election. Which was a fair, democratic election, by the way. So all you soil-panted sissies trying to draw parallels between the Tea Party’s opposition to Obama’s policies (namely ObamaCare), and your nationwide temper tantrums? No. Not even close to the same. Donald Trump is simply the president-elect. He’s done nothing yet as president. Which means what you’re actually protesting? A fair election. Because boo-hoo you, Hillary lost.
But right, you love “democracy.”
It is your overwhelming sense of entitlement which has led you to this soul-crushing despair in which you’re currently wallowing. That and the echo-chamber you’ve walled around your delicate being since sperm met ovum. Lucky your mother chose not to rip you from the womb (the original safe space).
The problem with the safe space you’ve carried with you like a hermit crab, is its effective shielding of you from REALITY. While you’ve maligned everyone who doesn’t also carry a safe space on their backs, as “racists” or “sexists,” those Americans whom you’ve wrongfully branded have kept their mouths shut. So you would shut yours.
These perpetually bullied (by you) Americans finally had a chance to drown out your petulant screams. They voted for Donald Trump, a man who throughout the entire election had zero qualms offending your delicate psyches. Americans are tired of your trigger warnings. They’re tired of being lectured to respect your safe spaces. They’re tired of the political elites you worship (because politicians constantly provide for your eternal infantile dependencies), lecturing them from taxpayer-funded estates.
So Hillary Clinton, who embodies all that you celebrate–but who most of America despises–lost. If you had stuck just one of your fungal-infested toes out into reality, rather than cocooning yourself with only those who agree with your world view, Hillary’s glorious overthrowing would not have come as the 10,000 volt shock that it did.
If you snot-encrusted dunderheads had the ability to learn, I’d advise you open the minds you believe are already open, and take in a world which includes more than your demands for free stuff (which you are neither entitled to, nor deserve). Alas, your thoughts consist of nothing more than regurgitated talking points. Fed to you by a media who occupies the same fantastical headspace as you. My faith in you, and in your ability to learn, is quantified by negative numbers.
So while you might be cursed to live as mature-stunted peabrains for the rest of your lives, perhaps you could simply cease the destruction of property. If you want to abuse someone, abuse yourself. Leave the rest of us decent Americans to our business.
We have work to do.
Oh… “work” is that thing the adults do to make money. Money which we use to provide for ourselves. And we don’t want you to have our money just because you’ve failed at life.
Written (without apology) by Courtney Kirchoff