We've long been telling you the "wage gap" is a bigger pile of bullhickey than Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2. Well, now there are academics coming out and saying the same thing. A pair of Harvard grad students did a study on the wage gap and they're calling shenanigans on the whole thing.

In a paper titled, “Why Do Women Earn Less Than Men?” Valentin Bolotnyy and Natalia Emanuel study the unionized environment of the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority (MBTA).

[In the MBTA], workers are promoted on the basis of seniority rather than performance, and male and female workers of the same seniority have the same choices for scheduling, routes, vacation, and overtime. There is almost no scope here for a sexist boss to favor men over women.”

And yet, Bolotnyy and Emanuel reported that “female workers earn $0.89 on the male-worker dollar (weekly earnings).” The Ph.D. candidates used “confidential administrative data” on the authority’s bus and train operators “to show that the weekly earnings gap can be explained by the workplace choices that women and men make.”

And, all across the land, feminist hambeasts' heads began to spontaneously combust.

When you adjust the gap for the number of hours worked, it disappears faster than a plate of Oreos on Amy Schumer's coffee table. Put simply, men are usually willing to work longer hours than the ladies. More hours equals more ducats in your coin purse.

I'll clue you in on a little secret. Men and women are different. We have different priorities. Generally speaking, women put more value in experiences and relationships. Including spending time with and taking care of their families and children. Not a bad thing by any stretch. Men, on the other hand, tend to be of a single mind with regards to work. We're here solely for the purpose of making copious amounts of greenbacks. If achieving that means longer hours, so be it.

As these grad students point out, if the ladies wish to make the same amount of coinage as their male counterparts, they need only to work the same number of hours. There is no conspiracy by the He-Man Woman Hater's Club to keep vagina-havers from making a decent living. Though, I highly doubt this revelation will convince feminists otherwise.

NOT SUBSCRIBED TO THE PODCAST? FIX THAT! IT’S COMPLETELY FREE ON BOTH ITUNES HERE AND SOUNDCLOUD HERE.