It's been a while since we checked in with former Senator from Nevada, Harry Reid, the man who lost a fight to an exercise band. Or, according to a number of conspiracy theories with varying degrees of credibility, got beat up by his brother. But let's stick with the band. In order for Harry Reid to save face (see what I did there?) he sued TheraBand, the maker of the band, alleging it wasn't safe for old people to use. What with the lost fight he had with it in the bathroom. Not to be confused with the lost fight against his brother. And now the lost lawsuit against TheraBand due to Reid being a lying sack of crap.

From HotAir:

Former Senator Harry Reid lost his civil case against TheraBand last week. Reid was seriously injured in 2015 while exercising with the band in his bathroom. He later sued the manufacturer claiming the product was unsafe for use by elderly people like himself. But during the trial, attorney Laurin Quiat who represented the company that manufacturers TheraBand, showed clips of Reid telling various stories about his injury, some of which contradicted things he said on the stand during the trial.

Contradicting stories is fancy speak for sitting on smoldering pantaloons. Which is fancy speak for his pants being on fire. Summarized, here are the different lies Reid told in order to cover for Reid either being an incompetent boob with a band, or getting beat by his brother which he blamed on a band.

Also, who exercises in the bathroom? Let's talk about that after.

1. Reid first said the band broke, thus snapping in his eye like the bullwhip of Indiana Jones.
2. But then Reid said the band slipped from his fingers like a bar of soap, causing him to spin around and fall flat on his eye. In the bathroom.

The real hiccup was there was no evidence Harry Reid even used the TheraBand at all, since the band was nowhere to be found. Supposedly Harry Reid's son tossed it after the accident. Which is exactly what you'd do if you later wanted to sue the company who wasn't responsible for being an incompetent idiot who was, for the record, not punched by his brother. It was totally a band, you guys. Totally. Not the drunken brother who has a history of punching people. It was the band. For sure.

So the score so far is: Harry Reid: 0 vs... well, everyone else who knows at the very least the worse place in anyone's home to exercise is a bathroom. Hard floors, sharp edges, sliding glass doors, faucets, breakable mirrors, slippery surfaces. Harry Reid, I'll remind you, is the same guy who said taxes were voluntary. Harry Reid, is the same guy who gave us the nuclear option. Harry Reid, ladies and gentlemen.

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