Americans were united in their outrage this week. No, not at impeachment. Even people who can follow it don't care (see POLL: The Democrat Impeachment Inquiry has LOST Independent Voters and Top Five Things More Interesting than the Impeachment Hearings). Americans actually showed more interest in Peloton, largely thanks to a kind of weird ad. Yes, Peloton, the infamous stationary bicycle befit only for houses decked out in Restoration Hardware. According to Google, Americans gave more effs over that bike, the supposed cult around it, and the viral ad more than the not-at-all-politically-motivated impeachment of Donald Trump.

If you aren't sure what commercial we're referring to, you obviously need to spend less time in reality, more time on the Internets.

Not to be confused with this parody of it. Which, if you're like me and saw this before you saw the real commercial, you were probably somewhat confused for a day or two.

As far as the ad itself, unlike other conservative sites, we're not going to be contrarians for contrarianism's sake here. That is, when everyone says X and you HAVE to say Y, just because "Look at me! I'm contrarianAF!" Sure, there's nothing wrong with a man getting his wife a Peloton bike for Christmas if that's what she wants. They’re actually pretty cool. But it was the tone and the look on that woman’s face throughout the ad that made us cringe. That and the bizarre movie of her showing a year's worth of progress video selfies at the end. Who does that? Ever? Seriously, who?

But we're not here to play market researcher. We're here to laugh at Democrats who have been planning their impeachment for over three years. Now they have it with wall-to-wall coverage of their hearings, Americans are more concerned with that panicky chick on the bike. And if she's getting enough protein/love.

When you cried wolf about Trump as much as the Democrats have, this is to be expected. Now go to your indoor serenity prayer room with walls of windows and pedal your troubles away.

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