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November 05, 2023
Roofing Company In Florida Offering Free AR-15, Turkey With Purchase Of New Roof
You butter believe this roofing company is all about that baste.
If you need a new roof you might as well kill two birds with one stone and get yourself a turkey and AR-15 because the owners of a Florida roofing company have announced its "Roof and Gobble" sale that is going on all month long.
The owners of Roof EZ, a roofing company located in Cape Coral, have announced a unique Thanksgiving special where anyone who purchases a roof during the month of November, will not only receive a free frozen turkey -- but also get a free AR-15.
We shall call this “Beauty and the Feast.”
“The turkey will get you all sitting at the table so you can spend time together. The roof will protect your home, and the AR-15 will protect your family,” Jason Polly, President of Roof EZ, said.
You really can not get more American than that!
"The turkey symbolizes the essence of togetherness and the joy of family gatherings during the holidays, while the AR-15 represents our unwavering belief that every family should have the means to protect their home and loved ones," Richards continued.
Liberals hate Thanksgiving (even though they all celebrate it) and claim that it is a holiday dedicated to murder, war, rape, and disease. So you can only imagine that they would not be too happy about this deal. Obviously, some liberals are crying.
Patti Brigham, president of Gun Violence Florida, speaking to WINK, said, "Why would a business want to give away AR-15s? To those getting a new roof? What is the purpose of that? It is a destructive thing to do. That business is just adding to a culture of gun violence. The AR-15 is the choice of mass shooters.”
I guess not everyone is for pumpkin spice and everything nice.
"Support American family values by adding more AR-15s weapons of war into the public stream. I mean, that is not a family value at all. Family values are about love and acceptance, and forgiveness, not arming the public even further with these military style firearms. It's sick," she added.
How is being ready to protect your family if danger were to present itself, “sick?”
But even though they loathe Thanksgiving, the Second Amendment, and probably turkey cuss a lot are vegan, these people also have a roof. Fortunately, they don’t have to worry because there is a special going on for them as well! And no, it’s not a free Tofurkey or a bow and arrow for them to go on a raw vegan turkey hunt.
"If the customer prefers not to take advantage of the AR-15 offer, we are more than happy to provide an equivalent discount on the roof's value in its place," Richards added. "Our ultimate goal is not only to provide your home with a new roof but also to offer a symbol of protection that you can rely on."
This company really is pumpkin special!