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January 16, 2020
First Cousins Are Married, Expecting a Baby and Insist They're Not 'Strange'
Yes they are strange. Yes they are gross. Yes I have more to say about this Utah couple, Michael Lee and Angela Peang, known henceforth as "Mister and Missues Ewwwwwww."
Hat tip to Breaking 911. But I'm using the hat in which to deposit my puke. Make mine a ten gallon Stetson.
Why do the narrators of these kinds of things always sound so bizarre? Obviously that's the least of our concerns here.
More of a concern is how these two don't think they're in any way wrong and they're not going to burn in hell. Did you see how this chick looked at her husbasin? Yes, I normally frown upon combining words to make attempted clever puns. For this occasion I think the word bastardization is more than appropriate. If you find "husbasin" more offensive than a woman who made her cousin her husband, we need to talk and I suggest we both drink during the conversation.
To their credit, both his mom and her dad (siblings) tried to wave this disaster off. Alas, Satan had other plans. Instead of sending Cupid down to get these two crazy kids who grew up together to stay together until death parts them, the Devil sent up a demon with a little love potion. As I understand it, the potion is one part social justice chant, two parts barf made from the regurgitated cake baked reluctantly for members of the Gaystapo. But don't hold me to that.
The entire aim of Mr. and Mrs. Ewwwwww! is to normalize their abomination of a love story. As she who canoodles her cousin says, "The more more people are exposed to it, the more they're going to go 'okay' and get used to it. It's not that strange. It's just that we're cousins. Tee hee hee."
It's not that strange. It's just that we're cousins.
Not that strange. Cousins.
Both gifs show normal reactions so I included both. I tried to find one where someone laughs before bursting forth with vomit, but came up empty. As likely will be the future of the spawn of this union. I sincerely hope I'm wrong there. For though we may upchuckle over this, a child got mopped into the mess through no fault of its own.
We're living in stupid times so let me be frank: this marriage is strange because they're married cousins. Cousins should not wed. First cousins should not wed. The states that say it's illegal to wed your cousin are not weird. Cousins who wed are weird.
There used to be a line. The line was one man and one woman could be married. Understood in this line was the man and the woman were not sitting next to each other on the family tree prior to marriage. Along came the #LoveisLove campaign to erase the line and now there isn't one. If marriage means just people who love each other regardless of anything else... well shit. Grab your banjo for a hootenanny on grandma's/mother-in-law's front porch. Just clear the wheel-less cars from the front lawn, gotta make room for the brother/husband and the wife/niece.
I realize I made some regional stereotypes in the above paragraph, which seems unfair considering these two lovesick birds are from Utah. Oh well. You tell me a banjo wasn't twanging in your head as you watched these two freaks stare longingly into eyes which likely share the same genetic coding.
Just as this husband and wife are related, so are these stories of people who should know better and be ashamed of themselves: Mother Jailed After Marrying Her Son. AND Daughter and Mother and Biological Son Are Lovers. Leftists Defend Them.
Unrelated, how hot can one make a shower before scalding one's skin clean off?