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Even More Rioters Attack a Driver in an SUV, and Even More Rioters Get Plowed

Courtney Kirchoff
June 01, 2020

Confession: I find the "rioters attack car, get creamed" genre quite satisfying. It's like popping bubblewrap. Immediate. Soothing. Fulfilling. If watching dangerous, violent heathens getting instantly karma-ed makes me a bad person, then a bad person be I. So far what I've seen are rioters attacking cars, those cars' drivers issuing warnings via honks or gentle nudges, followed by rioters escalating with more violence. Only for the driver to hit the accelerator and win the argument. It's a formulaic genre, sure, but a valuable one. Like a rom-com, you know the guy is going to get the girl in the end. Only here it's a grill and some bodies hitting the concrete.

A tweeterer believes this happened in Downtown San Jose.

Does anyone know where this occurred? https://t.co/lXrWqRnrBn
— GrantB911 (@GrantB911)1590961174.0

See, the driver honked. That was the meet cute. Then the rioter kept smashing. That's when the driver escalated the situation and enlisted his best friend to help him out. His best friend was the gas pedal and a V6.

Say it with me now: streets are for cars, not protest hoodlums. If you're in the street, and car asks you to move out of the way, move out of the way. Do not attack the car and the person inside it. Lest the person inside the car use the car to quickly get away. What then happens is something Isaac Newton would happily tell you all about had mortality not worked its magic. He had three laws, and the second law seems most appropriate here. That is: the force of an object is equal to the mass times the acceleration of that object.

Lemme break it down real simple like for the brick-throwing dummies trashing the cities: big car go fast and hit you equals person flying and ouchie, it hurts, it hurts.

For more examples of Newton's second law, check out: Rioters Block, Attack Truck and Horse Trailer, Get Run Over and Rioters Attack Female Driver. She Drives Through Them Then Hits Them Again. Come to think of it, rather all three of Newton's laws kind of work here. And I thought this post would be more a cinematic commentary than a scientific one!

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