I'll be honest. My main reason for writing this is that I've been wanting to steal Kurt Schlichter's joke about how Elissa Slotkin looks like "if Greta Thunberg let herself go" for a while now. Slotkin, who once said that Trump voters don't have fully developed brains, now thinks the way to appeal to Normie-America is with football metaphors.

Here's the rub, though. For sports examples to be effective in your political messaging, you need to understand how sports work. For example, even a casual sports observer would know that the Detroit Lions have no shot at winning the National Championship this year.

Because they aren't a college football team.

Mind you, this is a woman who Democrats think is a future leader of their party as she roots for Calvin Johnson to take home the Heisman Trophy this year. Yet, instead, she "ran a pick six," confusing professional football with college football. The Detroit Lions will only be playing for the Super Bowl. It's the University of Michigan that would play for the National Championship. Because UofM is the college team and the Lions are the professional team.

Even then, she's spreading fake news. The Buffalo Bills are winning the Super Bowl, and I am contractually obligated to say that Notre Dame is winning the National Championship (shouts to Gerald).

The best part Sloppy Greta Thunberg's embarrassing mistake? It was a floor speech about how Democrats need to get better at messaging and to rally the troops. She was attempting to be Dan Campbell. Instead, she was... well, Elissa Slotkin.

Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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