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Before you even think about changing your baby’s diaper, you better ask for their consent. Apparently, it no longer matters that they can’t talk, can’t understand language, and have absolutely no clue what the word “consent” even means. It doesn’t matter that they’re sitting in their own feces and urine, either — nope. According to the latest wave of progressive brilliance, parents must now get permission before performing the most basic, everyday task in human history.

Did that make sense? Because it’s not supposed to — nothing the left does makes even the slightest bit of sense. Yet here we are, with early childhood development “experts” in Australia insisting that you need to get consent before you even think about changing your baby’s diaper.

According to the New York Post:

“At the start of a nappy change, ensure your child knows what is happening,” researchers from Deakin University wrote in a November 2025 guide. “Get down to their level and say, ‘You need a nappy change,’ and then pause so they can take this in.”

But their offbeat directives for cleaning a cutie’s patootie — a task that parents often rush to “just get done,” the researchers said — don’t end there.

“Then you can say, ‘Do you want to walk [or] crawl with me to the [changing] table, or would you like me to carry you?’” said the specialists, seemingly ignoring that newborns can’t yet actually chat up mom or dad one-on-one. “Observe their facial expressions and body language to check if they understand what is happening.”

So what happens if the baby doesn’t consent? Are parents supposed to just let them sit in their own waste until they’re old enough to form full sentences? The logic isn’t logic-ing here — but then again, when does it ever?

The experts further noted: “This can be a time to help children learn about consent and how their bodies work.”

Call me crazy, but I think this whole “consent” thing can wait until at least adolescence — but hey, I’m no early-childhood expert, so take what I say with a grain of salt. It also seems ironic that the more these childhood “experts” invent new rules, like waiting until a child is “ready” to potty train, the average age for getting out of diapers somehow keeps going up. Weird. Very weird.

Consent can be good in a lot of situations, but I don’t think this performative, imaginary version of “waiting for consent” is going to do anything except create more frustration for both parents and the baby. I don’t know — that’s just my two cents. You can draw your own conclusions.

That being said, the next time your child has a dirty diaper, will you be making sure to ask for their consent before changing it?

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