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January 12, 2023
WATCH: Doocy confronts Biden on top-secret docs found in his garage. Biden: But I have a Corvette!
Well, it turns out, Biden's second batch of secret documents was discovered in the garage of his Delaware home. To me, this is the weirdest part of the story. No one reads top-secret information about geopolitical adversaries in the garage. That's gotta be at least a living-room activity.
Earlier today, Peter Doocy confronted Biden about his top-secret-document-placement choice, commenting that the highly sensitive documents were right next to his Corvette. Biden responded by noting his Corvette is in a locked garage. Which honestly isn't a bad defense. Corvettes are valuable. Maybe not as valuable as the security of American citizens, but still pretty darn valuable.
\u201cPeter Doocy on new batch of classified documents found in Biden's garage: "Classified material next to your Corvette! What were you thinking?" \n\nBiden responds: "My Corvette is in a locked garage, OK? So it's not like they're sitting out on the street"\u201d— Ryan Saavedra (@Ryan Saavedra) 1673539160
After watching that exchange, I am prepared to present a theory that has absolutely zero substantiation other than I saw it on Twitter: that entire interaction seems like it may have been scripted. Doocy's delivery was a little cringe, and Biden seemed to have a scripted response that was ever so slightly more coherent than his usual scripted responses.
\u201cI am just gonna say this, but I have no hard evidence to back it up, just experience. This REEKS of a set up. There, I said it. Continue.\u201d— Tracy Beanz (@Tracy Beanz) 1673548024
Doocy's question allowed him to address the issue publicly, but his answers were "Dark Brandon"-esque. He joked about his Corvette and could come off a little more like a cool Grandpa with a sick ride and a little less like a senile old man who doesn't know why he's in a white house or what all these cameras are for.
His PR team has been trying to push the "Dark Brandon" angle to cover up his less-than-stellar mental functions for a while now. Earlier this year, Deputy Press Secretary Andrew Bates tweeted out a Batman-inspired meme that reads, "The Dark Brandon Rises."
"Dark Brandon" may not be enough to shield Biden from the documents scandal, given that Merrick Garland just appointed a special counsel to investigate. The Democrats could also take this opportunity to "dispose" of Biden before 2024, given that he is heavily disliked by, well, pretty much everyone. But, this early on, it seems the most likely scenario is akin to the investigation into Hillary Clinton's emails, which yielded...nothing.
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