Between rounds of your life and politics which shape our lives, another silly movement was launched at whatever the last award show was all of Hollywood attended but none of you watched. Because of that "life" thing you have. So lemme get you caught up: Hollywood has released a totally legit, non-contrived solution to Hollywood's rape problem (see Rose McGowan BLASTS Alyssa Milano’s #MeToo Hypocrisy and Even Hardcore Feminists Are Sick of #MeToo Victimhood). Also, Hollywood's looking the other way while Hollywood's rape problem was a problem...problem.

Play that funky music, John Williams. The Oscars have brought us the all-male remake: #AskMoreOfHim. Hold on, the alarm is going off.

If you were to sarcastically write an all-male #MeToo letter, you would get this. Hold on to your squishy ball sacks:

But our awe is not enough. As men, we have a special responsibility to prevent abuse from happening in the first place. After all, the vast majority of sexual harassment, abuse, and violence is perpetrated by men, whether in Hollywood or not. And in entertainment – like many industries – men continue to hold most of the decision-making power. Therefore, one of the most powerful things that men can and must do is make it clear to other men – including their friends, colleagues, and co-workers – that sexual harassment and abuse are never acceptable. This goes for everything from sexist and degrading comments, right up to domestic violence and sexual assault.

Some may question our motives for signing this statement...blah blah blah, yackity schmackity.

Signed, David Schwimmer, David Arquette, and a bunch of people I never heard of.

Brave. A letter promising to do something about something. If only the lads storming Normandy had known of hashtags. So many lives lost. So many pound signs untyped.

Maybe this is my toxic masculinity speaking. I have a brisket on the smoker and just shotgunned a beer. But only beta-male Hollywood insiders need a hashtag to encourage themselves to be men. They had decades to do something about what everyone knew was going on. They just didn't have the testicular fortitude. They didn't even have the balls to stand up when other men were being sexually harassed and/or abused by other men. Disbanded Brothers: Groping of a Package. Ang Lee is buying the rights.

So quick everybody! Let's be impressed the guy from Friends and Patricia's less talented brother who used to be married to Ross's sister Courteney Cox have a hashtag and a press release. They don't know that we know that they know we know.

There's a whole new generation who don't understand the references in the above paragraph. Sad!

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