BREAKING: Bomb Suspect Revealed. Yes, He's a Crazy Person!
The bomb-mailing suspect has been revealed. Cesar Sayoc, who's 56, and completely loony. We have pictures of his white van. Which should've tipped off everyone. Set phasers to "FLUORIDE IN YOUR TAP!" And yes, he also appears to be a MAGA-sexual who didn't ingest enough of those pills Alex Jones* hocked. Allegedly. This is what happens when you eat gay frogs. The Illuminati warned us this would happen in their prologue for "New World Order."
The person in custody was revealed to be Cesar Sayoc, a 56-year-old who lived in Aventura, Florida. Photos of what many claimed to be Sayoc's white van surfaced on live television, as officials put a tarp over it and transported it, and later, in more detail, online. The van appeared to be covered in stickers and photos of President Donald Trump and Vice President Mike Pence, in addition to other stickers about politics and soccer.
I'm not sure who should be more embarrassed. Everyone who owns a white van, everyone who has pro-Trump bumperstickers, the manufacturers of such bumperstickers, or soccer fans.
Let's go with soccer fans.
#NeverSoccer https://t.co/x784Aw5G4j— Comfortably Smug (@Comfortably Smug) 1540569506.0
We kid, we kid. But seriously. Stop.
Here are other shots of his van:
MORE: Image taken at earlier date shows white van covered in decals of Pres. Trump, targets over the likenesses of… https://t.co/FpcgnZtlKU— CBS Evening News (@CBS Evening News) 1540570069.0
Such bad taste. Just for the record, if you have this much shit on your vehicle of choice, political or not, get yourself some help. Turn off all the glowing screens in your home right now and talk to a person who isn't telling you to kill the lizard people.
So from all appearances, based on the evidence we have now, the bombs were not a "false flag" operation far too many right-leaning bobbleheads discussed during the week. Kind of why it's important to wait for the facts. Especially when it appears the suspect allegedly wrote crap like this on his Facebook:
Based on his various internet profiles, Cesar also ran some naughty adult entertainment outlets. As in strip clubs.
Bet he's a swell guy once you get to know him. The kind of dude who'd describe himself as "Nice" but "all the women hate him because women hate nice guys." I say this as I have similar types of douches muted on social media.
He's an insane person.
Insanity isn't just contained on the left. I'll grant you the left is mainstreaming its fringe, but conservatives have nut jobs in their ranks too. Go read some comments. You'll see what I mean.
Now here comes Shapiro with the appropriate comparison:
Crazy person attacks Republican Congresspeople: blame the crazy. Crazy person sends bombs to Democrats: blame the Republicans.— Ben Shapiro (@Ben Shapiro) 1540571984.0
Which is kind of what happened all day yesterday. Just because Cesar here is a MAGA fan doesn't mean Trump, Trump-supporters, Mug Clubbers, or Daily Wire Cancer Patients should be blamed for the acts of this lunatic. Got that, media?
Here's something to bear in mind:
The person arrested in the bombing, Cesar Sayoc, is a registered Republican with an Aventura address who has been a… https://t.co/BwYdvqysAd— Dan Sweeney (@Dan Sweeney) 1540569827.0
Meaning Cesar Sayoc was arrested for a bomb threat 16 years ago. Long before MAGA was even a thing.
Crazy is as crazy does. Don't eat gay frogs.
* The Alex Jones joke was a joke. If you're out there wrapping yourself in a confederate flag security blanket, taking me seriously about the pills Alex Jones sells, I can't help you.