If you’ve never heard of The Babylon Bee, promptly stop what you’re doing and educate yourself. Though be warned, there’s a very real threat of laughing your posterior into a chuckle coma. Let me give you a taste of their genius. The Bee did a parody article detailing a made-up appearance by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez on The Price is Right.
It’s every bit as hilarious as it sounds:
Items included a set of Italian leather handbags, an all expenses paid trip to the Bahamas, and a brand new 2019 BMW 330i, at all of which Ocasio-Cortez shouted, “FREE!”
When host Drew Carey asked if Ocasio-Cortez understood the game’s rules, she told Carey not to cat-call her and then responded, “Don’t hate me cause you ain’t me.”
She went on to guess that diamond earrings, a set of jet skis, and even a giant pile of cash were all free.
Pardon me for just a moment.
My only gripe is The Babylon Bee is leaving out an important part in the story. The part where Alex waits up outside for the winner of the episode and “appropriates” 90% of their winnings at gunpoint. After all, it’s important for winners to “share their wealth.”
I don’t think anyone could’ve thought up a better way to lampoon the economics major Cortez’s lack of basic economic knowledge. Alex’s understanding is a akin to a toddler who thinks money grows on a greenback tree in their yard. Hopefully The (Fictional) Price is Right gifted her with some Thomas Sowell books for appearing.
The saddest thing is I honestly couldn’t tell if this was satire or real life. Arachnid Ornithology-Cortex frequently says things on this level of braindead in the real world. It really goes to show just how bereft of gray matter Ocasio Cortez truly is. So sad.