Alec Baldwin Arrested for Decking a Man Over a Parking Space
When we last left Alec Baldwin, he was praising himself for how much black people love him. Because of his Trump impersonation. Not for what he's known to do in his spare time. That is, being a general asshole. Today, Alec Baldwin was arrested for getting handsy over a parking spot. According to the story, someone accidentally put their face in the path of Baldwin's soaring fist.
Alec Baldwin was arrested Friday after he allegedly punched a man over a parking spot in lower Manhattan.
According to a preliminary investigation, Baldwin had someone holding a parking spot for him and while he was moving his car to the spot, someone else took the space, a senior law enforcement official told The Daily Beast. When Baldwin pulled up to the space and noticed it had been taken, he approached the man at a parking meter, the official said, and the two began shoving each other before Baldwin allegedly threw a punch.
On the one hand, I think we all know the rage felt by one who thinks they've scored a parking spot, only for that spot to be pulled out from under them in a diabolical game of musical chairs. How frustrating to send an envoy with the simple mission of: save this spot. Only to drive your expensive, probably really douchey car (let's be honest) to a spot which is being occupied by a person who cared not about your parking-spot-saving-envoy, and who parked their probably equally douchey car (let's be honest) in your space.
On the other hand, most of us take our rage out on our steering column by beating it like a bass drum, cursing and swearing, praying to Ares the suckwad who took our spot would be visited by fire ants later that night. Most of us do not engage in fisticuffs with the spot-stealing gnome-squatter. But Alec Baldwin is not you or me. Alec Baldwin was born a Grade-A Dickhead.
Now Alec Baldwin is, yet again, facing the consequences of his assholish affliction. Just when he thought he could be the hands of karmic justice, actual justice told him to sit the back of a squad car. Watch your head.
Now watch the Hodge Twins mock Alec: