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March 11, 2019
Zoo Will Not Kill Jaguar After a Stupid Woman Climbed Over a Barricade to Get to Its Enclosure
Good news for people who love animals more than they love stupid people hoping to score more likes on Instagram. A zoo in Arizona will not euthanize a jaguar after a jaguar did what wild animals do: act wild and treat human beings as the enemy. A woman, who is too stupid for the word "stupid," climbed over a fence to get into the jaguar enclosure at the Wildlife World Zoo near Phoenix, Arizona. That's when the big kitty used her arm as a scratching post.
Witnesses said the woman was trying to take a selfie with the jaguar on Saturday when it lashed out at the Wildlife World Zoo near Phoenix.
She had climbed over a barricade to get closer to the jaguar's enclosure when the animal reached out and swiped at her.
Duh. Has this moron never seen cat videos before? Or maybe her experience with reality is only from a tiny flickering image on her phone. Perhaps we could transmit some messages to her phone, something like "WILD ANIMALS ARE DANGEROUS" and "YOU STUPID, BOO!" if not "TURN OFF THE PHONE AND READ BOOKS."
Anyway, there were reasonable concerns coming from people who probably line up similarly to me on the whole animals shouldn't be killed for the actions of the criminally moronicwho got what was coming to them, worried the jaguar would be snuffed. The zoo promised the animal wouldn't be put down, while offering a nice dig at Woman So Dumb:
Please understand why barriers are put in place. Sending prayers to the family tonight. https://t.co/2MPb8bXhwR— Wildlife World Zoo, Aquarium & Safari Park (@Wildlife World Zoo, Aquarium & Safari Park) 1552188169.0
"Please understand why barriers are put in place."
This is what I'd like to think was the messaging before a manager deleted it and rewrote it several times:
- "Please ask your mom if she drop kicked you as a child, using your head as some kind of soccer ball."
- "Please understand the Jungle Book was not an instructional guide, dumbass."
- "Please make an appointment with a doctor to have your head examined, followed by a quick sterilization because damn, lady."
- "Please stop drinking from the toilet water. Or at least flush before you imbibe."
I hope the investigation leads to maybe the woman being fined, sued, or at least outed for the moron she is. Allegedly.
Zoo barriers are used to keep people safe from wild animals. Zoo barriers are used to keep wild animals safe from stupid people. Sadly, it seems no barrier can be put in place to save stupid people from themselves. For more stories on stupid people: Donald Trump Trolls Jim Acosta, AGAIN, Right to Acosta's Stupid Face and SJWs Demand You Stop Saying'Marijuana.' The Reason Is Stupider Than You'd Expect.