Jussie Smollett, aka “piece of shit” had all charges dropped. Proving once again Chicago is a festering pile of corruption. Also, tell me again about white male privilege because it seems like gay black privilege with a pinch of liberalism played a role here. Tell me I’m paranoid. After I catch you up on what exactly went down, I’ll present a listicle of steaming hot takes best served with the morning or adult beverage of your choice.
Why were the charges dropped? Apparently Jussie’s community service, or alleged community service, is the
excuse reason prosecutors are leaning against for their awful decision to release this festering pile of human waste from his charges. Though I’m still going with Chicago being the corruption capital of the world.
“After reviewing all of the facts and circumstances of the case, including Mr. Smollet’s volunteer service in the community and agreement to forfeit his bond to the City of Chicago, we believe this outcome is a just disposition & appropriate resolution…” Cook County SAO
— Steph Wash (@WashNews) March 26, 2019
It’s nice to know I can get out of serving time for my crimes if I just pick up litter. Except I’m not a gay male black man trying to frame Trump supporters. So never mind.
Still, some questions about this case remain. For example, if Jussie is innocent of all crimes (he’s still a piece of shit), why is the city keeping his bond money?
Jussie Smollett, all charges dropped.
But he still has to forfeit his bond and had to do community service?
wtf is this?
This is them saying he is guilty and at the same time saying all charges dropped?
— Tim Pool (@Timcast) March 26, 2019
But enough of the pesky need to get to the bottom of all this. Let’s get to the goods. Here are the top 10 reactions to piece of shit Jussie Smollett having the charges of his shitness dropped. Counting backwards from ten:
TEN: Notorious Tumbler Merchant Weighs In
Letting Smollett off the hook is a pure political calculation by Cook County. It is indeed that simple. The facts are in public view.
— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) March 26, 2019
The Ben Shapiro offers facts over feelings in what some may say is a little calculating.
NINE: Cameron Kasky Makes a Valid Point
It’s really fascinating that you instantly assume I take his race or sexual orientation into account when I see somebody have 16 felony charges dropped after a BS story because of his “community service.” I don’t care about his inalienable qualities. I care about the felonies. https://t.co/UiA9JTXFCD
— Cameron Kasky (@cameron_kasky) March 26, 2019
Cameron is one of the Parkland gun control bunch, of Hoggermeyer Weiner fame. And even he smells a rat.
EIGHT: Buck Sexton Gets Word Fancy
If Jussie Smollett is not guilty of filing a false report, there is no such thing as filing a false report
— Buck Sexton (@BuckSexton) March 26, 2019
That depends on what your definition of “false” is, Bucky boy.
SEVEN: Ben Shapiro’s Dad Speaks Truth
Not only will people be more skeptical of hate crimes now, people will also be undeterred from faking them.
— neontaster (@neontaster) March 26, 2019
Um, right. A guy just got away with faking a hate crime. What could possibly go wrong?
SIX: Chicago Reporter Reminds Us This Isn’t Over
What was also noteworthy about this news conference with Chicago police was that Johnson also said Smollett was responsible for the threat letter sent to Fox studios in Chicago. That’s an FBI case still on going. https://t.co/Ii6DCbmCTF
— Rob Elgas (@RobElgasABC7) March 26, 2019
So the feds aren’t done yet. Who knows, maybe they’ll take the crimes seriously rather than allowing a man’s gay privilege to eschew justice.
FIVE: Privilege is Not Exclusive to Race
Jussie Smollett proves no specific race is exclusive to privilege. No, privilege happens when you have connections and money. A lot of it.
— Britt McHenry (@BrittMcHenry) March 26, 2019
I think this is partially true. But I’m not sure a straight white man with money would’ve gotten away with this, to be honest.
FOUR: Cultural Observation of Innocence
I feel sorry for the people today who are FURIOUS that our President wasn't found to be a russian agent and HAPPY that Jussie Smollett, who staged a fake hate crime to attempt to racially divide this country won't be punished.
— Tim Young (@TimRunsHisMouth) March 26, 2019
Good point here, Tim. Same people who’re upset our president isn’t a traitor are thrilled Jussie Smollett is getting away with faking a crime.
THREE: This is an Example of Leftist Privilege
This is leftist privilege in action. If this whole thing had been perpetrated by a couple of MAGA dudes they’d be going to prison for 35-45 years. Jussie Smollett is getting off with community service and forfeiting his bond to the City of Chicago. Absolutely sickening. https://t.co/8GwJqp35cA
— Robby Starbuck (@robbystarbuck) March 26, 2019
Hard to argue that point, just based on how media treats MAGA people. Hello Covington Catholic.
TWO: The Babylon Bee Does its Thing
Jussie Smollett Utilizes Tried-And-True 'I Have A Lot Of Money' Defensehttps://t.co/1FOgxqnd1C
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) March 26, 2019
“Yes, Mr. Smollett’s behavior does seem to warrant punishment,” his attorney said in a special hearing before a judge. “But you also have to consider the fact that he’s rich. Furthermore, he has money. And also, did I mention that he is absolutely loaded with cold, hard cash?”
Well played, Bee. Well played.
ONE: The Office as Jussie Smollett
— John Cooper (@thejcoop) March 26, 2019
As a huge fan of The Office, this deserves number one for me. If you disagree, I hereby charge you with a hate crime.
BONUS: Red Steeze Ties Stories Together
Avenatti gonna find a bathroom somewhere and kick the living crap out of himself like Liar Liar and say he was attacked by Trump supporters.
— Stephen Miller (@redsteeze) March 26, 2019
I just saw this tweet from Miller after publishing this post. It deserves an honorable mention! For more on Avenatti: Michael Avenatti Arrested, Charged with Extortion, Bank Fraud/
What do you think of all this clear and present crap?