Top 10 Hilarious Reactions to Elizabeth Warren's DNA Test Results
In case you were unaware, Elizabeth Warren shared the results of her DNA test, showing she has somewhere in the ballpark of 1/1024th Native American DNA. Right now, Lizzie and the rest of the left are having a pow wow and declaring victory over the Orange Man.
People who aren't prone to mind-numbing dumbassery, on the other hand, are mocking the bejeezus out of Fauxcahontas and her ilk's failure to grasp math. Relying instead on the ignorance of the American voters who read only headlines.
Here are the top 10 reactions we've seen to Squaw Warren's embarrassing reveal:
This one's fitting. Liz thinking her 1/1024th "red man" DNA is profound is a total Michael Scott move. Before we know it, she'll be hosting the Dundies in her fun jeans and serving up cooked foot on her Foreman grill.
Yep, this highlights the real point in all of this. Lizzie isn't just saying she has a splash of Injun blood. She's claiming Native American as her race. That's akin to me driving a low-rider and speaking with a Tony Montana accent because my great great great great great great great great grandmother was 1/8th Hispanic.
Fact: a lot of living things share DNA. It gets even closer with mammals. Which should nut you up when people compare ape genetics to human genetics. Compare giraffe genetics to human genetics, then talk to me about Harambe leading us to the promised land.
Warren's genetics may more closely resemble a giraffe than she a Native American. Then again, at least people like giraffes. The same cannot be said for Warren.
This one was too good to pass up. Little Ben's female life partner happens to be a doctor, in case you didn't know. If you subscribe to the Daily Wire and imbibe liquids from his asbestos-laden tumbler, you'll know there's a 1024% he's going to namedrop his wife's MD status in the next five minutes.
That's just the problem. She wasn't thinking this one all the way through. She's betting on people just reading the headlines. Which many do, sure. We see their comments on Facebook.
Yep, Warren thought she was scoring a point with this DNA test. Instead, she's only triggered mass giggle-fits on the right.
I know, another Ben Shapiro tweet. The Semitic Stallion is on a roll, so we couldn't resist. Benny is right. When we're talking ten generations, we're talking of this feather-wearing ancestor living hundreds of years ago. It's not likely Liz went out canoe-carving with her Indian relatives.
That would be some top-notch trollery if the Donald were to do so. From Michelle's fingertips to God's ears.
Okay, I know I said this was a top 10, but we have to do just one more. This one's my favorite of all:
My only hope now is that Lizzie will stop dawdling and throw her headdress in the ring for a shot at the presidency. Anything to keep this mockfest going on.