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April 19, 2019
Texas Police Department Has Perfect Response to People Who Suck at Parking
Few things make us as unexplainably stabby as a bad parking job. Seriously, driver. You had one job. Stay within the lines. Actually, two jobs, because you probably shouldn't run anyone over in the parking lot. Unless they're the kind of person who's loathe to use headphones and insists on blasting their (usually crappy) music for all to hear. But still! Is it stupidity which caused you to fail to notice your whip is taking up two spits? Are you too lazy to get back in the car and fix your own problem? Are you this bad at shaving whatever part of the body you choose to shave? Help us help you.
A Texas police department is helping drivers learn the error of their ways. By treating them like they're five-years old. Bask in the sheer glory of this:
Southlake DPS, you are all of us!
By the way, this is the only proper use of the font Comic Sans: in a coloring book, childhood setting. Wherein the receiver of the Comic Sans is, at least in the area of parking, still a kindergartner. No excuses to you people with tiny cars, either. I can understand failing to keep a Winnebago in the lines. But you Prius people can kiss my SUV's bumper. Which you'll find between two lines.
And no, you're F-250 ain't "Compact." Park a little farther out and walk your happy butt to Chipotle.
This is what we call community policingAF. They could have given a ticket. I'm sure the town council would have preferred they did. Instead, they made their point using snark. Plus, while we understandably mock leftists and their safe spaces, coloring can be very soothing.
Just don't do it while you're driving. Also, get off the phone.
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