Sex work. I need you to put a pin in how you view both of those things, together and separately, for a tiny second. Yes, I know "sex as work" is becoming a thing in libertarian circles of human centipedes. Oh, trigger-warning: perverted jokes/references. If it was a debate among adults, that would be one thing, setting aside the raw ickiness and ethical ramifications of sex as work. Remember, we're putting a pin in that for a tiny second. But TEEN Vogue thought the debate was worthy enough to revisit an OpEd from a few months ago:

Teen Vogue. As in Vogue for teens. Teens being as young as thirteen, just one year older than twelve. Including some boys and girls who don't even like boys or girls. Okay? Okay. Teen Vogue is postulating sex as work to your sons and daughters but mostly your daughters.

It's one thing for TEEN Vogue to push dimestore wokeness (see Teen Vogue Doubles Down on the Lie, Insists Gender is Nonbinary with Cringe Video and REBUTTAL: Teen Vogue Refers to Women as “Menstruators” in Article About Period Cups). But when a magazine whose audience is just discovering who they are to leap to "by the way, charge people to sex you up," I'd like to think we can all agree that's not ideal.

This paragraph is particularly amusing. We broke it up because, gosh, so much to say we couldn't let all the sentences go by without raising a crop in objection.

I find it interesting that as a medical doctor, I exchange payment in the form of money with people to provide them with advice and treatment for sex-related problems; therapy for sexual performance, counseling and therapy for relationship problems, and treatment of sexually transmitted infection. Isn't this basically sex work?

No. No, that's not sex work. Let's break this down in super simple terms.

Providing people with advice is providing people with advice. You are exchanging what you know or your "expert" opinion for legal tender. The subject for exchanging advice/knowledge for tender can be fluid. Legal advice, medical advice, interior decorating advice, reading advice. Advice can be delivered electronically, verballing, in written form, or even remotely over this snazzy thing we call "the internet." You with me so far? Let's move on.

Sex work is when you charge people to have sex with you. Sex involves touching. Usually with genitals. Pretty much all sex work involves something touching someone's genitals. Often the genitals touch each other. Sex work cannot be done except through touching. Still with me?

Unless this doctor is giving a patient a lap dance while discussing medication to treat ED, the two things are nothing alike.

I do not believe it is right or just that people who exchange sexual services for money are criminalized and I am not for what I do.

Based on your assessment of what you do with what a prostitute/ho/whore/slut for cash (pick your favorite term) does, I'm not sure I think it's right either. You, madam, are a stupid person.

Is a medical degree really the right measure of who is deserving of dignity, autonomy, safety in the work place, fair trade and freedom of employment? No. This should not be so. Those who engage in sex work deserve those things, too.

A medical degree confers some level of knowledge authority to he or she who holds it. Knowing how the body works in order to best treat it after injury, affliction or disease is not the same as twerking to Cardi B. Knowing when to prescribe penicillin versus Prozac is not the same as spreading one's legs and descending onto an erect penis. Which isn't to say both of these things are not brave and beautiful, they're just not the same. Again, we can swap medical knowledge with any kind of knowledge and this comparison is still as useless as a battery-deprived vibrator. Which isn't the same as a stethoscope. Since we're making distinctions, when a doctor says "Open wide and say 'ah'" while depressing your tongue, this isn't the same as a "John" issuing the same order while unzipping his pants.

So we're clear.

If adults want to debate if blow jobs are just as valuable as blow drying hair, fine. If adults want to debate the merits of jackhammer sex with hammering up drywall, okay. But can we just maybe keep the sex work talk with adults, and encourage our kids to aim higher? Aim higher here is not a euphemism for a one-eyed snake's impending arousal. I was thinking we could maybe encourage our sons and daughters to aspire to be astronauts, engineers, designers, writers, and dog-walkers. Not to be confused with professional spankers. But maybe I'm just a dreamer.

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