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June 10, 2019
Eric Swalwell Compares the Democrat Party to 'The Avengers'
I know I've already mocked the bejeezus out of Eric Swalwell for the awkward silence during this very same speech. Though, this one is just too good to pass up. Watch as he compares himself and his fellow Democrats to The Avengers.
“Thank you, Iowa. Congratulations to tonight’s honorees. Welcome to my fellow candidates,” Swalwell said as he walked onto the stage. “Whom I consider — we are all a part of being The Avengers. The Republicans in 2016, that was ‘The Hunger Games.'”
“We are in this with your help and support to save this country we love so much,” Swalwell continued, pointing out things that the Democratic Party had already done in pursuit of his stated goal.
“I’ll tell you what you did, you cut our time in Hell in half,” he said, referencing the 2018 midterm elections and the fact that Democrats had regained the majority in the House of Representatives. “You gave us a shot to save the country.
It's like he's six-years-old.
"I can compares this stuff to other things for you. The mean man Donald Trump is Megatron, that boogerface Mike Pence is Starscream, and I am Optimus Prime! Leader of the Autobots. I will save the day with the help of my fellow Transformers and our friends, the Ninja Turtles."
I like to imagine Suckwell wrote this speech on the floor of his bedroom. In his Batman PJs. Using the contents of his toy box. This was, of course, before his mommy came to kiss him night-night.
This only further proves my theory of Eric being a stunted manchild. He behaves in the manner of a tiny tot who hasn't quite moved past wetting his car bed. This might have something to do with Swalwell polling at an even 0%. Poor little fella.
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