Spider-Man, Spider-Man,

He's gonna take it in the can,

Busted for child porn,

Listen bud,

You are in a lot of crud...

It takes a special type of person to dress up like a superhero and wash windows at a children's hospital. I can't think of any place where more smiles need to be put on faces. Then you hear one of the window wipers is going away for child pornography. And much like Fat Tony from The Simpsons, you find yourself not so much mad as much as blinded by anger.

Now, the 36-year-old will probably spend the rest of his life in prison for filming himself sexually abusing a toddler girl and infant boy, whom he babysat, on multiple occasions.

Jarratt A. Turner was sentenced Monday to 105 years in federal prison for multiple counts of producing and transporting child pornography. Turner, of Nashville, was charged in June 2015 and pleaded guilty to all counts in March 2017, according to U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement’s Homeland Security Investigations officials who conducted the investigation.

Between October 2014 and May 2015, after he befriended two families and offered to babysit their young children, Turner took sexually explicit images and videos of the toddler on 10 occasions, and of the infant boy on six occasions. The images and videos were taken while Turner babysat the children in his basement apartment in Nashville, according to court documents.

I know this isn't Minority Report. "Precogs" don't exist. Yet. Or at least the Deep State is keeping them under wraps for the time being. But I can't help but think there is a background checker who should be updating his resume. The kids that Spider-Scum abused weren't patients at the hospital, but they could've been.

Also, who's to say the "Look at how wonderful a person I am putting smiles on the kids' faces" wasn't just a cover for "I love the smiles kids put on my face." Our friendly neighborhood Spiderman was getting in touch with his spidey senses. He was shooting wads, just not out of his wrists.

I'll let myself out.

I like our superhero trailer posts so much better (see The Final Avengers: Infinity War Trailer has Been Released and Netflix Releases Last Trailer for ‘The Punisher,’ Release Date). There's never a need to take a longer shower after those.

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