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In general, I think that leftists in Hollywood want to destroy western culture in an effort to instill hopelessness into the population. Our bread prices are through the roof, so let’s take a look in at our circuses.

Oh. That’s not a good sign.

Cue the music.

Who’s been messing up everything?

It’s been Agatha all along.

Who’s been pulling every evil string?

It’s been Agatha all along.

Okay, here’s the short review.

I didn’t hate the first two episodes. My expectations were low. I don’t really see how this fit into the Marvel universe as a whole (which might be good, because I’m losing track). It’s not for kids. Anyway, longer spoiler-filled review to follow.

Being the gayest Marvel project is a low bar to clear. Besides a few hints, Marvel hasn’t really been trying to cram The Agenda down our throats in the way that Star Wars The Acolyte was. And, in the above clip, the reporter from Variety is clearly trying to bait the cast into saying this, as he asked everyone the question. Obviously, some people are still butt-hurt over the fact that The Acolyte didn’t get a season 2, so they’re trying to stick it to “The Man” by being obnoxious about it. It IS a majority female cast (it’s a show about witches; come on, now) so if you’re not interested in female-centric stories, skip it.

The only main male character, Teen, is a gay sixteen-year-old boy. We don’t know what his name is, seemingly because of the lingering curse that Wanda placed on Agatha at the end of WandaVision.

You don’t have to get too caught up in that, though. I mean, you don’t even have to watch Wandavision, because Agatha breaks herself out of the curse (for the most part) at the end of the first episode.

Which, honestly, was the best scene in the show so far. In WandaVision, Wanda Maximoff enslaved a small town in a fantasy of old TV shows and you get to watch Kathryn Hahn fight her way out of each era of television, ending with her in black-and-white before she finally breaks free.

The other “gay” stuff has been a bunch of clumsy lesbian jokes. Again, I don’t hate it.

The first episode has us in a small-town crime drama. Like I said, Agatha has been cursed to remain in the television-esque subreality by the Scarlet Witch.

As we all remember from Dr. Strange and the Multiverse of Madness (JK, I never saw it), Wanda died by being crushed to death by a building (I think) and she took the Darkhold (?) with her? Again, it’s fine. This doesn’t really matter. They breeze through it in the first episode.

I was kind of disappointed. I would have loved to see an entire show of someone from reality slowly coming to the realization that they are living in a television show reality, having to fight through every Law & Order: SVU cliché to break out.

But that would actually require you to study up on WandaVision, and it seems to me the creators really wanted Agatha All Along to stand on its own for the most part.

Now that Wanda is dead, Agatha can break free. So, she’s back in the real world and needs to get ahold of some powers. Teen, the boy who tried to break into her curse, wants to walk the Witches’ Road. Agatha sees this as an opportunity to get her powers back.

So, they go in search of a coven. And, I mean, if they’re going to cast Patti LaPone, I really think you should expect some singing.

In episode two, it feels a little like a heist movie. Getting the team together, everybody has their expertise, no one wants to work with Agatha because of her reputation. With Teen’s help, Agatha is able to recruit a coven. Sasheer Zamata, Ali Ahn, and an always adorable Debra Jo Rupp round out the coven.

In her basement, as the Salem Seven are closing in to seek revenge on Agatha, the coven sings a song to open the Witches’ Road (don’t act surprised; PATTI LAPONE). It ends up being their only means of escape. And, based on the closing credit sequence, we are definitely supposed to get Yellow Brick Road vibes as they take off their shoes (witches, Oz, shoes GET IT?) and head off into the unknown.

The most muddled part about Agatha All Along is that it’s trying to blend a team-up heist movie with a horror/comedy. It’s not impossible. It might be fun. And maybe they are still exploring the cliche-ridden alternate reality of TV tropes.

The cast is stellar. Patti LaPone is a Broadway institution. Debra Jo Rupp knows her way around a sitcom like nobody’s business. Aubrey Plaza has cornered the market on deadpan delivery. Kathryn Hahn seems to have been in everything, but never the lead. This time, she has her legs. We’ll see if she can run. Her strong suit is comedy and in the first two episodes, she’s a loose cannon with suspect motivations.

Agatha All Along fits in the recent tradition of trying to make the villain the hero. Will Agatha be redeemed? Do any of them deserve it? Western culture has been telling stories about witches for centuries because middle-aged cat ladies deserve a little something, too right?

It’s not the best thing that Marvel has ever made (probably Captain America: Winter Soldier), but it’s not bad and it’s not as gay as the red carpet interviews would make it seem.

Will it bring me back as a gung-ho Marvel enthusiast again? No.

Is it as strong as the amount of money they've put behind the marketing campaign? Eh...

Will I watch the forthcoming episodes to see if it goes off the rails? Maybe.

There’s a lot of time and a lot of show left.

Look, sometimes things are just…mediocre. That don’t have to be aggressively bad.

Like I said, I didn’t hate it. But, you could also be reading a book instead. Which is pretty cool.

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Kate works in production at LwC. She is an author. When she isn’t writing...who are we kidding? She’s always writing. You can find her here on X.