"Republicans Hate Kids!" – What Democrats Want You To Think
by Krystal Heath, follow her on Twitter @TheFriddle
We all knew it was true. Republicans hate kids. I mean, if Republicans would just stop being so worried about unborn children, maybe they'd see how spiteful they are to real kids. The ones that are actually alive and not able to be aborted anymore.
Seriously, like, can't they just love trees and focus on saving mustachioed sea otters? What is it with Republicans and this fixation with baby humans? Jeez.
Yes, today was just more real proof that Republicans hate children. Those supposed child-lovers voted to disallow funding for the President's Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) plan. Why? Because the President loves children, and Republicans are just bitter because they don't control the White House, so who do they take it out on? THE CHILDREN. That's who.
President Obama's DACA plan would allow immigrant children to stay in the US - in three year increments - without fear of deportation. But there are requirements. They have to be in school, have to have arrived here before the age of 16, and must have been living in the country since 2007.
So yes, if you got here in 2007, you were 15 then, and you're 22 now - of course you can stay! The President wants to pay for you to go to college, too! Because Barack Obama loves the children, all the children of the world. Red and yellow black and white, they are precious in his sight... you catch my drift.
Then, there's the Republicans. Yeesh. They expect kids to be an adult by age eighteen, with only a little extra grace period until they're twenty-one!
Republicans hate kids so much, they even want them to immigrate legally. 'the what?!
Republicans hate kids so much, they want them to pay for their own education or expect them to earn scholarships. I can't even...
But wait. Are those actually bad things? Could it be that allowing kids to break the law simply because they're kids doesn't actually send a positive message to impressionable young minds? Maybe by removing all sense of personal responsibility, our culture is actually contributing to the welfare state? And if our children think that being a kid forever is what life's all about, then why wouldn't they expect someone else to take care of them for the rest of their lives?
Yes, we have a responsibility to the children (both born and unborn). But that responsibility isn't to hand them life on a platter. Our responsibility to children - whether our own, our neighbors, or even those who are here illegally - is to love them enough to do what is best for them, not our own political agenda. And allowing someone to continually break the law simply because they're a child may not be what's best for them.
I know. I'm a Republican, and I hate kids.