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June 06, 2023
Listen: PETA VP tries to puppy shame Pete Davidson, so he leaves a voice message telling her "suck my d***"
Getting a dog should be a happy time in any man's life. For Pete Davidson, that day was ruined by a yappy animal right activists. So Skeete did what anyone would do in that situation. He invited the woman to put her mouth on his weiner. Then, he made the suggestion she might smile more if she fornicated herself.
The news was broken by TMZ. Because if you're a vice president of PETA and have a voice message of Pete Davidson telling you to take a mouthful of his penis, you're not going to call CNN with it.
Wow, that escalated quickly
Pete Davidson had to say goodbye to his dog Henry earlier this month. As he was scrolling Instagram, he saw a Cavapoo that he fell in love with. He contacted the store and welcomed the new member into his family.
The problem, or "problem" is he went to a store and not a shelter. PETA, when they aren't shaming Elon Musk for chocolate milk or shaming you for using animal-based insults, they're lecturing potential dog owners to "adopt and not shop."
Daphna Nachminovitch, the Senior VP of Cruelty Investigations, issued a statement: "It's tragic that Pete didn’t seek out a borough-born mutt from a city animal shelter, because a scrappy New Yorker with charm, personality, and unconventional handsomeness could have been his perfect match."
"Hi, my name is Pete Davidson"
Pete was quite put off by PETA's attack. He called the vice-president to educate her that he's allergic to dogs and needs to get a specific breed, like a Cavapoo. The actor was dismayed PETA would be so cruel and ruin this happy moment for him and his girlfriend.
Then came the reason the call was leaked to TMZ:
So why don't you do you research before f*cking creating news stories for people because you're a boring, tired BEEP. F*ck you, and suck my d*ck.
I had to write BEEP because I legit can't figure out what he said. The word sounded like it started with the letter "c," so feel free to insert any c-words you think would fit. I don't want to misquote Davidson. He's been through enough.
Davidson has since calmed down. In a statement to TMZ he said he was already feeling a certain way about the loss of Henry and the store filming him without permission. He admits it was a poor choice of words -- the whole d*ck sucking thing -- "but I am not sorry for standing up for myself and my family."
Davidson now needs to think of a new name for his new friend. Daphna Nachminovitch learned a valuable lesson in minding her own beeswax.
Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.
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