You know you're living in the first world when all of your problems aren't. Or worse, you must make up your problems just so you can jump aboard the complain train. Meet... this thing. He/she/it has used the terrors of haircuts as a jumping off point to bitch about general oppression of they who choose not to be the gender they actually are. Trigger-warning: you will not feel any empathy toward this genderless leprechaun.

My favorite part, beside all of it, is when it says "it's tough out there." I'm not sure what insult I should refer to this thing as, but let's go with "bitch." Jesse Pinkman did a swell job of making "bitch" an all inclusive insult. Who am I to question a fictional meth lab partner's assessment of proper insults?

If you equate where you do or do not get your head hairs trimmed as a problem, then bitch, you don't have problems.

We're all free to complain about whatever. And I am an advocate for addressing problems in your life, small as they may seem to others. Don't misunderstand, I'm not dismissing people's daily woes.

But a haircut isn't a daily woe. It's not even a woe. It barely registers as an issue. Yet BBC and this thing partnered up to make haircuts the reason to yammer about how being non-binary is such a big damn deal. How hard it is to have a full bladder and not know which potty to use. How hard it is for a barber or a salon stylist to wonder if you pee sitting or standing.

What would actually be hard and what should be addressed is how difficult it is to grow a personality. That's the real crime here. A lot of these newly minted non-binary folks who demand you feel sorry for them are masking their dull with stupid hair, bad ear accessories, and saying they're neither him or her. What they really are is dim, mediocre, and all around bland. Of course that's just, like, my opinion man. But what non-binary person out there is rocking any kind of achievement?

Now go check out WATCH: These Lesbians Are Also Non-Binary and Desperately Need You to Care and Not Satire: Transman Uses Sperm from Transwoman to Make Baby with Non-Binary Partner.

NOT SUBSCRIBED TO THE PODCAST? FIX THAT! IT’S COMPLETELY FREE ON BOTH ITUNES HERE AND SOUNDCLOUD HERE.