On any normal day, Matt Lauer gets inappropriately touched by facts (see Marco Rubio Spanks Matt Lauer on Gun Control and Matt Lauer Wants George W. Bush to Bash Trump. Dubya Delivers Knockout Instead…). Behind the scenes, however, it appears he was the one doing the inappropriate touching. At NBC News. Where he is no longer employed.

NBC News Chairman Andrew Lack said in a memo to employees that the complaint, which was made by a colleague of Lauer's, prompted a serious review and represented a "clear violation of our company's standards."

Lack said it was the first complaint lodged against Lauer, 59, for his behavior since he took over as anchor of the show in 1997, but there was "reason to believe" it wasn't an isolated incident.

"Our highest priority is to create a workplace environment where everyone feels safe and protected, and to ensure that any actions that run counter to our core values are met with consequences, no matter who the offender," Lack said.

Seems sudden, what with Lauer as late as last Thursday being applauded for hosting his 20th Thanksgiving Day parade. While details are still sketchy, there's also Page Six to give us clues:

Matt Lauer allegedly sexually assaulted a female NBC staffer during the Rio Olympics, sources told Page Six.

The staffer, who has not been named and wishes to remain anonymous, complained to NBC bosses yesterday, prompting NBC News bosses to move fast and fire him.

Maybe he was just really horny that one time. Most likely though, if the past few months have taught us anything, true "isolated incidents" are rarer than a three nippled unicorn. Which will kick your brains out if you try getting grabby.

The host of the "Today Show"? Gone. The host of the "CBS Morning Show"? Fired last week for the same reason. Oh how the mighty perverts (allegedly) keep falling.

Head over to Time Square, I bet "Good Morning America" host George Stephanopoulos is nervously recounting his time in the Clinton Administration. Any bets?

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