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Posts Articles Abortion

Justin Trudeau Plans to Lecture Mike Pence on Anti-Abortion Laws

Brodigan & Kirchoff
May 30, 2019

Various states are taking advantage of Donald Trump's winning on the Supreme Court, pushing laws that limit abortion (see Louisiana Passes Ban on Abortion After 6 Weeks and OPINION: No, You Cannot be a "Pro-Choice" Christian). This is upsetting to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, our favorite walking pile of soy and hair product. Trudeau's front hole is especially sandy over this. And he plans to give Vice President Mike Pence a good what for. Have all the popcorn popping.

Vice President Pence is scheduled to land in Ottawa on Thursday to talk up the renegotiated North American trade deal. But he might be in for a talking-to on access to abortion — at least according to his host, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

Trudeau said Wednesday that he plans to raise Canadian concerns about recent U.S. moves to curb access to abortion, and to address “backsliding” on women’s rights from conservative groups around the world, when he meets the vice president Thursday.

“Obviously, I am very concerned with the backsliding of women’s rights we are seeing from conservative movements here in Canada, in the United States and around the world,” Trudeau told reporters in Ottawa.

We reached out to the Vice President's office for a response:

Of all the administration officials Trudeau is going to lecture about abortion, he's choosing Jesus McChristy? Pence probably pours himself two fingers of milk and toasts every state legislature who passes new restrictions. The only reason Pence agreed to go to Canada is because of Trump constantly talking about Trudeau being the world's first six foot douche. And he's never seen one that big before. So now, like Richard Attenborough, Pence must journey to the Great White North to document one of nature's most perplexing marvels: a creature with the outward appearance of a man, but the inner workings of a Twinkie.

If the rumors prove true, Pence could confirm that which we've suspected for years. Leftists like Justin Trudeau are but caricatures, who stand erect not with two legs, but stumps made of pompous windbaggery, wrapped loosely with the flapping meat flesh of recycled lab gerbils.

God speed, Vice President Pence. The people are with you.

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