Kissing babies?

Nah. That's so yesterday!

For Donald Trump, it's go big or go home... in his personal helicopter. Yes, Donald Trump has declared in a recent interview that he planned to give the kiddies rides in the Trumpcopter at the Iowa State fair.

Nothing like relating to the little people... or should it be buying their votes?

I mean, who wouldn't want a ride in a Trump chopper? There's so much to see at 5,000 feet above Iowa farmlands. The corn, the wheat, corn - oh, my!

And yes, this Trump machine is the very same one used in the introduction of The Apprentice. Very cool. This would be a legit Trump copter ride, for free, for the children of Iowa voters.

Yes, free. As long as you're wearing a Trump-esque "Make America Great Again" hat. (No word yet on whether a comb-over is also required.)

If only Walker, or Bush, or Rand, or Marco, or Fiorina, et. al. could compete...

As the Daily Mail reported,

'I have three helicopters,' Trump boasted on Wednesday. 'Did you know that?'

'I have one at Turnberry, one at Doral, and one in New York City.'

It's the New York chopper that would make the two-hop, 1,000-mile trip to Iowa. Trump would take his Boeing 757 jet and meet up with his crew in the Hawkeye State.

Aside from the obvious media value of such a spectacle – 'It'll be magnificent,' Trump mused – the unlikeliest of Republican front-runners grinned broadly when he imagined the scene near Des Moines.

'We're asking approval,' he said, nearly hopping out of his chair. 'We're really doing it! Because I would love to take some of the young kids – you know, put 10 kids into the helicopter and let 'em go up and down.'

The chopper itself was outfitted and decorated by designer Eric Roth at a cost rumored to be $750,000 – after the purchase of the aircraft itself.

Children who manage to clamber aboard will sink into cream-colored Italian-leather seating, sip Trump-brand ice water and secure themselves with 18-karat gold plated seat belt buckles.

The Donald said of the whole concept: 'It's cool. Isn't it cool?'

Yes, Mr. Trump. We admit that it's cool. We commend you for being the king of cool in the GOP field. But we don't need a cool President (been there, done that). We need a President who has a backbone and a plan... and as of today, your website doesn't even include an 'issues' page - but there is a "donate" tab and a very, very long "About Me". Thing is, this really isn't about you. So how about a little more substance to go along with the cool? We're not opposed to you... we're just opposed to the fact that you haven't offered any viable solutions/policies as of yet. Start delivering those, and we'll take a serious look at you.

Also... the Iowa State fair said no. *gasp* Is there someone actually more powerful than the grandiose Trumpness? I mean, this couldn't possibly be about liability or the Donald distracting from the prize cows, could it? Nah. They must be in the bag for Bush. That's the ticket.

Stand by for the Donald to sue. Or fire someone. Or just berate them on social media for being "nobodies". Because that's how he plans to govern, folks. Problem is... some things in life just don't work that way.

By Krystal Heath. Follow her here.