Supermarket workers are the unsung heroes as we deal with this pandemic. No, not celebrities (see If You Weren’t Sick Before, Here’s a Montage of Celebrities Singing ‘Imagine’ and Norm Macdonald DESTROYS That Horrible Celebrity “Imagine” Singalong). It's the people stocking and selling us groceries. You don't get to hoard toilet paper if they aren't putting it on the shelves. My mom is in one or more of the at-risk groups, so I'm the one who goes out shopping. I see these workers, many of them kids, in masks and gloves or standing behind a protective shield at the register, at least twice a week. My heart goes out to them.

So had I seen someone purposely coughing on food, as happened at this local supermarket, the cops would be called. Only they'd be arresting me after beating the shit out of this person with their own shoes.

A woman, who the police know to be a chronic problem in the community, came into the store and proceeded to purposely cough on our fresh produce, and a small section of our bakery, meat case, and grocery.

While there is little doubt this woman was doing it as a very twisted prank, we will not take any chances with the health and well-being of our customers. We had no choice but to throw out all of the products she came in contact with. Working closely with the Hanover Township health inspector, we identified every area that she was in, we disposed of the product and thoroughly cleaned and disinfected everything.

Although we have not yet quantified the total loss, we estimate the value to be well over $35,000. We are checking to see if our insurance company will cover it, but even if they do, our rates will surely go up next year. I am also absolutely sick to my stomach about the loss of food. While it is always a shame when food is wasted, in these times when so many people are worried about the security of our food supply, it is even more disturbing.

People doing things like the "coronavirus challenge" are too stupid to be out in public in the first place. But the people being hospitalized for licking toilet seats are only harming themselves. Plus maybe their immediate family for having to live with the shame of them being such assclowns. The woman at this supermarket was doing it just to freak out the people shopping. Because people in this country aren't freaked out enough.

So f*** this broad. I hope people are coughing on her in county lockup. Also, while you are supporting your local restaurants by ordering takeout, maybe pick up a gift card you can drop off at your local grocery store. The people working there could use the break.

NOT SUBSCRIBED TO THE PODCAST? FIX THAT! IT’S COMPLETELY FREE ON ITUNES HERE.