You remember how upset everyone was when Cecil the lion was killed by a hunter? How about when Jimmy Kimmel wept and people wanted the hunter brought up on charges and/or possibly murdered himself? Good times. Seems like ages and/or three weeks ago.
A safari guide has been mauled to death by a lion in the same Zimbabwean national park where Cecil the lion lived.
Quinn Swales was taking a group of tourists on a walking safari in Hwange National Park on Monday morning when a lion suddenly charged, the company he was working for said.
Swales, 40, died the morning of the attack from the injuries he suffered, it said.
What’s funny is that while Americans were expressing their outrageous outrage over Cecil being killed, people in Zimbabwe we’re LOLing at that outrageous outrage.
“[Do] all those Americans signing petitions [against lion hunting] understand that lions kill people? That all the talk about Cecil being ‘beloved’ or a ‘local favorite’ was media hype? Did Jimmy Kimmel choke up because Cecil was murdered or because he confused him with Simba from ‘The Lion King’?”
He tried to warn us.
Just remember this the next time PETA or a stupid vegan tries to convince you of the horror that is humanity and the utopia that is the animal kingdom. Lions are jerks. They maul people to death. They do so brutally and without remorse. Because they’re animals. They’re not voiced by Matthew Broderick.
If they had opposable thumbs and/or access to firearms, every last one of us would die at their paws. Thank God they don’t, and we do. So let’s make the most of it and keep the little monsters in check.