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Dear Media: Your Migrant Caravan Story is a Steaming Pile of Crap
Dearest media: the facts are prison and you just dropped the soap.
My, my, what an unfortunate week it's been for those of you cheating with narratives while the truth sits at the dinner table, watching the supper get cold. Like all scorned lovers, the truth has a way of getting its just desserts. For you, the leftist ass-kissing sycophants, slavishly following orders from on high, the narrative was clear: sell the migrant caravan from Honduras as a drove of victims and President Trump the heartless knave who'd deny them refuge from a life of suffering. So you did, deploying reporters like Jim Acosta to spin the tale of a villainous president, bolstered by his racist supporters, denying sanctuary to those poor unfortunate souls.
Even as the migrant caravan amassed, its ranks swelling, its members looking more like a marching army, less like wispy refugees wartorn and weary, you cleaved to your precious narrative. The caravan is filled with refugees. The caravan is filled with refugees. THE CARAVAN IS FILLED WITH REFUGEES! He or she who denied your "facts," who dared mislabel the caravan as anything other than a swath of victims seeking help from the strong, rich nation of America was a brown-coated miscreant sporting a devilish mustache.
Then the migrant caravan finally reached the Mexican-American border. Lo and behold, twas not a horde of women and children, with tear-stained faces and empty bellies, but a swarm of military-aged men. Where were the poor, the tired, the huddled masses you had promised?
Not only was the caravan not filled with helpless women and children fleeing oppression, but it wasn't even filled with people seeking asylum. According to your own reporters, forced to cover the truth after being cornered by facts, most of the male migrants just wanted work, failing to qualify as asylum seekers at all. In fact, so un-oppressed are the members of the caravan, many find the process of applying for asylum too tedious a venture and are heading back to the countries from which they came. Even after the men hurled rocks at Border Patrol from behind their feminine parapets. Using women and children as human shields seems a little toxically masculine, wouldn't you say?
People in dire need of help tend not to attack their would-be benefactors. People oppressed and fearing for their lives tend not to throw their hands up in defeat and return home when they don't check all the qualification boxes.
Yet you sold them as victims. You branded them as helpless migrants. You maligned anyone who questioned the inherent good-naturedness of any member of the migrant caravan as a racist Nazi.
Not for the first time, nor for the last, you were wrong. In fact, your entire coverage of the migrant caravan is a giant cluster eff you see kay. Go ahead and exfoliate with the crushed egg shells which you smashed on your own faces.
Oh don't get me wrong, I know you won't learn from this Titanic-sized pile of shit. You'll get high from your own pompous elitism. You'll pat your own backs, congratulating each other over how much you cared. Over what good little feelers you all are. Then move on to the next scandal in attempts to topple the Orange One.
But we see you. Your migrant caravan screw-up will not go unnoticed. We're making our lists. We're ticking our marks. We're waiting, patiently might I add, for the next lie you'll tell, and the truth to -- once again -- run you through.