Dear idiotic, out of touch British media,
Clearly you aren’t on the same page as the rest of Britain. Your astonishment in response to yesterday’s vote to leave the EU cues us into that. To hear you tell it, Brexit had no chance of happening. As it turns out, the majority of the UK disagreed with you. Awkward for you, sure, but it should also be worrisome. The media is supposed to be directly tethered to the people. Yet Brexit? Hit you out of nowhere. Like an angry Muslim husband. Though to be fair, a Muslim wife would see it coming. Habit.
Your disconnect from the populace reeks of the likes of the equally moronic American media. Turns out our countries have more in common than I once thought. Not only are we nations divided, we’re nations falsely represented. We’re both nations with an elitist class of douchebag-dispensers who try to shame us as a bunch of knuckle-dragging racists for opposing massive immigration plans. Illegal or simply idiotic plans. Usually a cocktail of both. Shaken not stirred.
Because if, say, aliens had descended from flying tea saucers, and glued themselves to the telly, the one conclusion they would draw would’ve been the impossibility of Britain’s exit from the “estimable” European Union. Better known as this….
Further, those flying tea saucer aliens would’ve also concluded the only sorts of people who would dare leave the EU would’ve been pure racist, hateful, xenophobic asshats who made Hitler look wistfully up from hell and smile. With that, these aliens would’ve assumed there was zero chance of the United Kingdom leaving the EU. “Surely not,” they would say, pinky fingers held aloft whilst drinking tea and using words like “whilst.” And “aloft.” “Britain is a nation of civility, politeness, with such great airs of pomposity, no one would dare seek to leave the European Union. It is an impossibility, good sir.”
Turns out, no. Both you and these fictional aliens? All wet. You can take your opinions, you can take your projections, you can take your shameless, shaming ways and go throw yourselves in the Thames.
Because no matter how hard you gits in the media tried, no matter how many egotistical celebrities of great self-importance tried, the people of Britain, from Northumberland to Cornwall, gave a giant middle finger to the elitist windbags. Frankly as an American, I’m rather proud. Telling the ruling class they’d rather not take orders from an unelected group of bureaucrats in a separate country? Why it gives me the feels!
Making you in the media left standing looking like a bunch of wordless monkeys? Pudding. Because this isn’t the first time (nor will it be the last) you media louts made utter tossers of yourselves.
Yes, to the Americans reading this, I’m using British slang. Carry on.
Over here in America our pathetically stupid media is equally as ignorant regards the actual will of the people. The media of the 80s were flabbergasted that Ronald Reagan would win not one, but two elections in a landslide. Like you, the American media lectured the American people for their simple ways and “hateful” nature.
In fact we don’t need to go back in a time machine to fight the morlocks to make this point. The American media is dumbfounded over the American people’s overwhelming support for gun rights. This love of firearms, which you understandably do not understand, is one reason we’re no longer a part of your United Kingdom. We are a free people thanks to our independent spirit and affection for the boom-boom sticks. Yet our own media cannot wrap their tiny, nugatory brains around why we hold such affection for our guns.
That’s what “out of touch” looks, like, apparently. It has goofy hair and wears a press pass.
You media types, both British and American, do not understand a great number of issues held closely by us common folk. It’s not just who we elect. It’s not just how we choose to defend ourselves. It’s not just that we’re a bit tired of being lectured about who is allowed into our countries without our vote. The out of touch media, both here and abroad, cannot fathom why the commoners wouldn’t want men peeing alongside girls in the loos.
For us serfs, the issue is quite clear. For your elitist twits, nothing is clear.
Will you learn from #Brexit?That question was purely rhetorical. You didn’t learn from Reagan, or probably Thatcher. You didn’t learn from guns, or from trannies in the toilets. You live in little castles of ignorance, writing decrees for us pitiful serfs about what we must tolerate. You try to rule us with scepters forged in little think tanks of theory, but have no utility in the real world. You’re surprised when your pontifical ideas are trampled by the people who live in the real world.
Fine. Please continue to decorate your ivory towers with tapestries of gold and good intentions. The next time the people are belittled, patronized, and lectured for being nothing more than racists for wanting their country to retain its identity, to hold onto its great culture, we’ll flip you a mammoth bird and prove you wrong yet again.
Perhaps we’ll make a sport of it. Either way, get used to it.
Written by Courtney Kirchoff