Dear Ignorant Voters: Spare Us All. Don't Vote. Really...
Dear voters being targeted by opportunistic politicians,
You're going to get called on a lot in the near future. Why? Because you hold a special place in the hearts of certain politicians. I'm speaking of politicians who simply encourage you to "get out and vote." Which, hey, voting? It's a good thing. I'm not against you voting. I'm against you voting just for the sake of voting because someone told you to do it. That's a jackass move.
See, you may not know it, but it's possible you're an ignorant voter. If you're out there shaking your head at me, or shaking your fist, hang on just a second. I'm not saying you're stupid. I'm not saying you're unintelligent. I'm not saying you're a spineless amoeba. Of all the insults I've hurled at idiot celebrities or entire classes of voters, I'm not throwing any at you. Being ignorant isn't the same as being stupid.
So, are you an ignorant voter? You might be and just do not know it. Heck, sometimes I think about how wonderful it would be to not know what was going on. Ignorance, as they say, is bliss. Few things are more spirit-lightening than disconnecting from the news to just live your life. If being disconnected from the news, politics and the macro issues of our current cultural decay is how you stay happy, then keep on keeping on.
Just don't vote. That's reserved for those of us who actually pay attention. Simple, right?
A person who is unaware of what's going on in our political world should not participate in its hiring/firing process. It's common sense which can be applied to any other area of life. Here, allow me to demonstrate. You wouldn't hire a doctor to head of pediatrics if you knew nothing about pediatrics. You wouldn't hire a car mechanic if you knew nothing about the combustion engine. You wouldn't hire a gourmet chef if all you eat is Cap'n Crunch. If you're not familiar with the sector for which you're hiring, you have no business doing any hiring.
Yes, it is that simple. Politicians run our government. I'm not thrilled with it, but that's the sad reality. It's a reality I haven't fled for celebrity gossip or the HGTV channel. If you've chosen to stay in the dark regarding public policy, basic economics, taxation, or the general role of government, then why would you participate in the hiring of people to run said government?
This seems pretty obvious to me, but the opportunistic politicians will court you for your ignorance. They'll dumb down the process for you. They'll throw bumpersticker slogans at you. They'll make pleas that you vote for them. Often through a celebrity. Sometimes through a president. Who thinks of himself as a celebrity.
Obama, who was interviewed by Evan Smith, editor of the Texas Tribune, cited low voter turnout as an area in which technology could improve citizens' participation in government. He said it was "easier to order a pizza than to vote" and said we need to think about how to "redesign our systems so that we don't have 50 percent or 55 percent voter participation in presidential elections."
Incorrect. Deciding which you'd prefer, Hawaiian or pepperoni, isn't the same as electing who is in charge of the government coffers, the writing of legislation, the enacting of policy. See what I mean about politicians dumbing it down for you?
Secondly, voting for elected officials should never be as easy as ordering the pizza college students procure amidst keg parties and burn sessions. As they hop from safe space to safe space. Why do we want the voting process to be dumbed down to keg-tapping level?
Thirdly, the process of voting is easy. Stupidly easy. Find your polling place, go there, vote. In some states they mail your ballot to you. Which means you can vote while you're eating that pizza you ordered. In other states, you don't even need your ID to prove who you say you are to vote. Why? Don't ask questions, racist.
Leftists will tell you that's just all you need. TO VOTE. JUST GET OUT THERE AND VOTE. DO IT NOW. They don't tell you to familiarize yourself with the issues. They don't even tell you how they plan on doing the things they say they're going to do. Leftist politicians in particular will just shout promises at you. Who doesn't love promises? Related Even HuffPo is Now Admitting to Bernie Sanders' Fuzzy Math...
On the flip side, if you're an ignorant voter, I'm begging you not to vote. If you get your news from E! or if you get your news from Yahoo! for the love of all things real, concrete and who Gwen Stefani is dating, don't vote. It's nothing personal, it's just the rest of our lives at stake here.
Ignorant voting based purely on emotion is why we're in the mess we're in now. I'm telling you because you don't know that we are, in fact, living in a mess. Resist the calls the politicians will make on the feels. FYI "But it feels right!" is a terrible reason to vote for something. Feeling is easy. Researching, learning about the ramifications of any given policy, using critical thinking skills, that takes effort. If you want to take that effort, great. Read up. Figure out what it all means. Follow the money. Stop being a dumbass.
If you want to worry about what Caitlyn Jenner is saying and take it seriously? Step away from the ballot. If your idea of political activism involves hashtags and only hashtags? Step away from the ballot. If you take your voting advice from celebrities? Step away from the ballot. If you read the comment sections of BuzzFeed and think that's where all the smart people hang out?
Don't vote. Please. Be responsible. With great power comes a great chance to muck it up for those of us who actually pay attention on a daily basis. We're begging you to not take your ignorance to the ballot box. Instead... just order a pizza.