Congratulations, leftists! We now have a fitness program specially designed for you. Taking into account all the baggage saddled around your midsection. Even the figurative crap you think is real (see Politico Tries Quelling Leftists’ SCOTUS Fears With Ruth Bader Ginsburg Workout Video and FAIL: Antifa Open Up Wimpy ‘Self Defense’ Gym…). Everyone needs to exercise. Even fatties. Thankfully, there’s a leftist fitness instructor who’s taken your needs to his bleeding heart. Facts may not care about your feelings. But he does.
Are you on the left but want to get in AWESOME SHAPE??? Then I’m your guy!! Fitness is important, but so are feelings. Now join me as we figure out who to blame!
Lets be serious for just a second. Set your stopwatch or ask Siri to do it for you. If leftists channeled their anger into a heavy bag, they’d probably go 5-0 on the amateur circuit. But training would take away from them whining on Twitter. It also requires them leaving the house. To be around people who may disagree with them. Plus you never know what triggering thing they may read on someone’s workout tee. “Work hard.” “No excuses.” “Bullet Club.” Complain to the gym manager like you would on Twitter, and they’ll laugh at you. These are dangerous microaggressions which cannot be risked in a world which isn’t controlled by digital avatars.
Thankfully, the leftist fitness instructor can just parrot back their talking points while burning zero calories! Drink that soy latte smoothie, losers. Suck it up to keep sucking it up!