You'd think Katy Perry would be in the press for saying ignorant things about guns. It's the on-trend fad rocked by all her colleagues (see Most Embarrassing Liberal Celebrity Tweets About Florida Shooting and Cast of ‘Modern Family’ Makes Stupid Video Promoting ‘March for Our Lives’). Instead, the American Idol judge is making news for going swish-swish bish on a couple of nuns. One already died because of it. Another nun is wondering when she's going to eat again. Where she's going to live. Or what she's going to do about her cancer.

This is going to make you roar. With stabbiness.

An 80-year-old cancer-stricken Los Angeles nun says she’s so broke that she doesn’t know where her next meal will come from — because Katy Perry bought the sister’s convent for some $14 million, setting off a take-no-prisoners legal battle.

Sister Rita Callanan is one of the last nuns still living at the Convent of the Sisters of the Immaculate Heart of Mary — where she thought she’d live until her last days, London’s Daily Mail reported Saturday. Then the “Firework” singer tried to buy the property from the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Los Angeles, headed by Jose Gomez. He claims to own the convent and sold it to Perry in 2015, according to the report.

Callanan and her late fellow nun, Sister Catherine Rose Holzman, believed they had the right to sell it. Holzman collapsed and died last Friday in the courtroom where the case was being heard.

Broke. Hungry. Homeless. And don't forget the cancer. Just so Katy Perry can “sip green tea and find herself.’’ Where Katy's going it's more hot than it's cold. Though with plenty of fireworks. Hopefully right up her poop shoot.

Maybe there are details we're missing. Fine print on a contract somewhere. It's a legal deal with courts, archdioceses and a Pope. The unfortunate punchline to this running gag is just "nuns drop dead." Not our favorite flavor of joke.

But can you honestly tell me this pop tart couldn't find another place to "find" herself? Or to exercise just a smidgen of humanity? I ask only because Katy pretends to give so many feels when it suits her. But now that she's being asked to be compassionate, she's gone the way of the dancing shark. Remember, this is the same Katy Perry whose response to the Manchester Bombing, was to "coexist without borders." Seems she loves borders for her estate which, up until recently, housed some nuns on their last breath.

Idea for the title of Katy's next album: "I killed a nun and I liked it." Too harsh?

It's a joke, people. Katy didn't actually kill a nun. She just liked the taste of her cherry chapstick.

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